Happisad Memories

Chapter 3: Morning

She walked into a black and empty space. It felt like she had closed her eyes but it was not the case at all because, after a while, she could see an orange lantern in front of her. As she grabbed it, the light twisted and turned, it felt like her body did the same. The same childlike voice she had heard while entering the first happisad memory realm echoed past her. It said "Hello, please." Then, she was quickly taken to another happisad memory. There she was, lying in bed with her husband. He was still asleep. It was storming and raining outside, September was kicking fall in with its fierce wind and low 50-degree temperatures. She felt different that day. She could not explain it. She felt happy and hopeful which was a first for her because not only was she the kind of person who normally had nostalgic lonely mornings, but she also needed a cup of coffee to be ready to take on the day.

She stretched and rolled closer to her husband and pressed her head on his chest, right under his soft neck. She stayed there for a bit. It was early and she knew he had been working late so the last thing she wanted to do was ruin his sleep. He was so comfortable and relaxing that she fell asleep on him a few minutes later. When she woke up for the second time, she laughed. "The pillow is no match for a true lover's arms," someone had told her this before, but she could not remember who. She had always thought it was a very cheesy quote, but that morning it made total sense. She looked around and realized that this was not her bedroom. The walls were painted white but had beer posters on them. Instead of a bay window with blinds, this room had a straight window and no blinds. The floor was carpeted whereas her bedroom had hardwood floors. This was not her husband next to her, it was her boyfriend. Well, it was her husband but he was about ten years younger because it was before they got married. They were still dating and that morning she had just realized something. She kissed him on the neck and whispered something in his ear. He smiled.

"Finally," he replied as he was trying to emerge from a dream.

"Finally what?" she asked.

"Finally, the good guy gets the girl," he said with confidence and pride. He kissed her forehead and said, "I love you too."

They both laughed. She had just told him, for the first time, that she loved him. It took her about nine months to do so because she had to be sure. This was not something that she ever said lightly, when she even said it to begin with.

She closed her eyes and the bedroom disappeared in the darkness. When she reopened them, she found herself in a small uncomfortable bed. Her legs were elevated by an uneven sleeper sofa. It smelled like home but it was not theirs. She was surrounded by walls plastered with 90s TV show posters and there was an old tube TV in front of her. There was also a window above her from which she could see the stars in the night sky. She recognized her old bedroom, in the attic of her parents' house, the one she had grown up in. They always stayed there when they were visiting her parents. This might have been about five years back because she knew that they had not been there in a while. Her husband was next to her, he was still sleeping. She was late on her period by a week and had cried herself to bed. She shook her husband to wake him.

"Still nothing," she told him, "we need to buy pregnancy tests, I am freaking out."

"You are fine," he yawned without even opening his eyes, "they say stress can delay things, no biggie."

She started crying again. He grabbed a box of tissues next to the bed to wipe her tears.

"What if I am pregnant? I am not ready. I'd be a terrible mother," she continued hysterically.

"We are not there yet. We will see once we know for sure." He answered with calm and patience.

"I'd have to abort. I can't do this!" she screamed as if her life depended on it.