Happisad Memories

Chapter 10: Now

When she opened her eyes, the Nalhak was floating on top of her. Its silver wings were as healthy as they were when they first met in the nursery. It was smiling. Other Nalhaks were surrounding them. They were back on the cliff where she had first seen pillars, but this time there were no more pillars, only flowers, and trees. She sat up to take in her surroundings. In front of her, the three suns of the Land of Morning were shining, uncovering the beauty that had been hidden from her until now. It all looked like an archipelago, except there was no water, it was all clouds; not gray or black though, pure white with a silver layer around them. There was no ground, which explained why the woman had not seen anything underneath her, other than clouds and rocks before. The gray hungry clouds were gone. She was surrounded by a pinkish orangey sky, the same type you could find in the evening when the moon was about to show itself accompanied by the starry night. To her left, she could see a few rocky floating platforms. Each seemed to lead to another one but looked more and more difficult to reach as they got closer to a box-looking platform covered by a bright rainbow spreading to her right. Above her, she could see giant translucent branches carrying water-looking leaves.

"The you must hurry," she heard the Nalhak whisper in her ear as it landed on her right shoulder, "the Land of Morning is safe, but the you is not."

It was the first time that she heard the winged creature use a negative sentence. It surprised her and also made her understand the importance of it all.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Non-Nalhaks cannot stay here, it means death for them. It is time for the you to get back to the Land of Presents."

"Where should I go?" the woman asked, looking around to the infinite clouds.

"Well, to the mooden box of course, if the you still wants the answer to their question," the Nalhak replied.

"How," the woman asked.

"Through the silver arch, onto the platform of the floating bear, the silvery path will show you the way."

And the same way the Nalhak's map had guided her through the last happisad memory timeframes, the silver arch drew an arrow in front of her. She got up and walked towards it. When she passed through the arch, she found herself in front of a furry-looking place. It was only when she stepped on it that she realized where she was exactly: the smells, the touch, and the feelings; she was on her thinking cub, her childhood comfort zone. It felt comforting at first but quickly her heart got heavier and she felt trapped. It was not just a feeling. Looking around her, she found that a wall had built itself around the platform, cutting her from the rest of the Land of Morning and the letting bridge.

"Read me a story," she heard someone say in a dark corner of the platform.

It sounded like her own voice except she knew she had not said anything because her mouth had not moved. As she got closer to the corner of the platform, she saw a giant stuffed bear. A little girl was sitting on it with a book in her hands. It looked like herself when she was about nine years old. She could tell because she had a very fresh scar on her wrist that she had received from rolling around in a hayfield and hitting a rock that should have not been there.

"You already know how to read," she told the child.

"Yes, but there is a page missing," the little girl replied.

So, she grabbed the little girl, sat down on the big stuffed bear's lap, and put her on hers. She opened the book to read. It was a short children's book with big lettering and colorful images. It looked like the one she had read to her unborn child for months. She held the child as she would have held her own if she could have. The book told a story of the mother of a fairy who had a child with a fairy man and was raising her in the world of mankind, knowing that she could only keep her until her third birthday. She would need to let her go to the land of fairies on this milestone because that was when she would grow wings and people would feel she was different. She remembered that she had bought this book in her third trimester thinking she could read it to her then newborn. She later had torn it apart as she was unpacking her hospital bag. As they read together, she thought about how many times she had pictured herself reading to her child all kinds of fairy tales and magical stories. It all started with "once upon a time" and ended with "they all lived happily ever after," it never ended with death and sadness because they were written for children and they should never know about the horrible things of life. They should be sheltered as long as possible.