can't get over you (wlw)

chapter 10

⚠️ warning ⚠️  strong language, rude behavior, and eating disorder!!

I cautiously opened the door, entering the house, hoping my father wouldn't be waiting for me.
Fortunately, he wasn't home. I greeted my mom and headed upstairs to my room.

I changed into comfy clothes and lounged on my bed, scrolling through social media for an hour. Although I lacked motivation, I resisted the urge to stay put and got up to tackle my homework.

I was nearly finished with my work when my mom called me for dinner. I got up from my desk and headed downstairs to eat. My dad was already seated at the table. I sighed and quickly began eating, eager to finish and leave.

I could feel my father's gaze on me from the corner of my eye, but I chose to ignore him.

"Hey, slow down! You're eating like a starving dog," he scolded, raising his voice.

"Act like a human and chew your food properly. Do I have to teach you that too?!" He sneered, shaking his head in apparent disgust and disappointment.

I paused mid-meal, taking a deep breath. I headed to my room. Even though my mom called out to me, I decided to ignore her because I didn't have the energy to deal with this nonsense.

But the anger bubbled up inside me.
"You know what? Screw it! I'm going to let everything out," I exploded.

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY THAT IS! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY MY BODY IS FAILING! IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU DON'T MAKE ME FEEL SAFE AROUND YOU, SO I EAT AS FAST AS I CAN TO GET AWAY FROM YOU! I HAVE DEPRESSION, AND YOU ALWAYS MAKE IT WORSE, SO I EAT TO CALM DOWN! THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS EAT TO MAKE THAT BURNING FEELING IN MY THROAT GO AWAY WITH FOOD! I LIKE TO CHOKE MYSELF WITH FOOD WHEN I'M ANGRY SO I DON'T EXPLODE IN ANGER LIKE I AM NOW!!"

I hate it. I hate that I can't control it. Tears welled up in my eyes as I slammed my door and collapsed onto my bed. I decided I wouldn't come out until tomorrow because I knew my father would do something terrifying after how I just screamed. I hoped he wouldn't come to my room; otherwise, I'd be done for.

Yeah, I had depression. I mean, come on. I can't even find peace at home. I had to leave my family, the people I loved, at just the age of 9. And after that, we kept moving, changing schools every year. I constantly had to leave the people I met and got close to. That was and is hard for me.

*

Today, the last period got canceled, so we had some free time now. We decided not to go home straight away. It's not like I enjoy going home anyway.

"Man, I'm hungry," Val said, hugging her belly. "Do you have any food, Jersey?" she asked.

"Not for you," he answered teasingly.

"You're so mean! Just give me something to eat."

"I don't have any, sorry," Jersey said, and Val sighed in response.

"I'm going to the toilet," I announced, leaving to go there. After fixing myself up, I was about to head back, but then I decided to go to the snack machine and get some Twix for Val, since I knew she loved them, and then I went back.

I smiled as I walked towards her.

"Here, I got something for you," I said, handing her the Twix.

"OMG, thank you!" she exclaimed, hugging me tightly. "If you were a boy, I would totally date you," she added playfully, opening her Twix and giving me a wink.

I was caught off guard. "What do you mean?" I asked, nervously laughing.

"You know, you're so sweet, caring, and gentle. I like somebody just like you," she explained, her gaze lingering on me with a hint of flirtation, her smile growing wider.

"Hahaha, thank you for the compliment," I replied, trying not to make a big deal out of it but feeling a flutter in my stomach. As we continued hanging out, I couldn't help but wonder if she was flirting with me or if it was just friendly banter.

I looked at her and noticed she was looking at Jersey. I tried to read her, paying close attention to every detail. Was she looking at Jersey's lips, or was she simply listening to him? Did I detect a hint of longing in her eyes or body language? It was difficult to tell because whenever someone suggested they were together, she would vehemently deny it, insisting they were just best friends. And it was true, they had been close friends for a while now, even before I came to this school. Despite her denials, I couldn't shake the feeling that there might be something more between them. But for now, I decided to put my doubts aside and focus on enjoying our time together.