can't get over you (wlw)

chapter 14

Wake up!
..
Wake up!
..
Wake up!

The scream echoed in the back of my mind, pulling me up from the depths of sleep. My eyes snapped open, and I bolted upright, gasping for air as if I’d been suffocating. My heart pounded wildly, each beat resonating in my ears as I tried to catch my breath. I looked around, disoriented, the familiar outlines of my room slowly coming into focus. It was just a nightmare.

I ran a hand over my face, feeling the dampness of sweat on my skin. Every inch of me felt cold, even though my heart was racing. My breaths came fast, each inhale sharp, like I couldn't get enough air. Slowly, I forced myself to breathe deeply, to remember where I was and pull myself back to reality.

Finally, I let out a shaky breath. "Fuck," I whispered to the empty room, the word a mix of relief and something else, something unsettled that I couldn’t quite push away.

The whole day in class, I was zoning out, my mind trapped somewhere between reality and the lingering edges of that nightmare. The teacher’s voice faded into a dull hum, words blending together without meaning. I watched my classmates, but they felt distant, like I was looking at them through thick glass. My eyes drifted to the clock over and over, each minute feeling like an hour.

I tried to shake off the weight pressing down on me, but every time I blinked, flashes of last night came back the echoing scream, the panicked wake-up. It felt like the nightmare had seeped into my bones, refusing to leave. Even the simple act of focusing on my notes seemed impossible; my thoughts kept slipping, trailing off into nothingness.

I wondered if anyone else could tell, if my blank stares and absent nods gave me away. But the day dragged on, and I felt stuck, just waiting for it to end so I could go home, maybe try to find some peace.

Wiktoria and a few others tried striking up conversations, but I just wasn’t in the mood. Their words barely registered, and I found myself nodding and smiling out of habit more than anything.

By lunch, I sat with Val and the rest of the group. They were laughing, talking over one another, lost in their usual banter. I tried to follow along, but I felt like an outsider watching from the edges, the noise somehow distant and muffled.

Val must've noticed, though. Between the chatter from Toufiq and Jersey, her gaze found me, quiet and searching, like she knew something was off. But I just looked down, pretending to be occupied with my food, not quite ready to let anyone in on the weight I was carrying.
Val’s gaze lingered, but she didn’t press me, just quietly nudging her knee against mine under the table as if to say, I’m here. I gave her a faint smile in return, hoping it would be enough to satisfy her. Meanwhile, Toufiq and Jersey were in their usual back-and-forth, debating some movie or game with an energy I couldn’t match today. Their laughter filled the air, making the table feel more alive, but I couldn’t bring myself to join in.

As I stared down at my half-finished lunch, I felt a pang of frustration at myself. I wanted to shake off this heaviness and just be present with them to joke around with Jersey, laugh at Toufiq’s wild stories, maybe tease Wiktoria a little. But I was stuck, caught in that fog from the nightmare, its weight pressing down on me even now.

A few times, Val’s eyes flicked back toward me, worry flashing across her face. She opened her mouth, maybe to ask if I was alright, but Jersey’s loud laugh interrupted, and she let it go. For the rest of lunch, I just sat there, watching my friends talk, feeling like a silent observer in my own life.

Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. I mumbled an excuse, something about needing to stretch my legs, and slipped away from the table. No one really seemed to notice, caught up in their laughter and conversations. But as I walked toward the bathroom, I felt Val’s gaze on my back, like she could sense something wasn’t right.