𝗠𝗬𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗔: 𝗋𝖾𝗏𝗂𝖾𝗐 𝖼𝖺𝗌𝗍𝗅𝖾 . ☄ . [CLOSED]

───ㅤwoods

REVIEWER: AcapriccioRhythm
CUSTOMER: _KimAes_

⟨ 🪄 ⟩ ── Cover [7/10]

The cover is nicely done, but I feel like it doesn’t quite suit the tone of the story. For one, the deer and the face claim don’t really give me an ominous feeling, especially with the trees in the background looking blurry. The title is also very small, which makes it almost invisible and unnoticeable - making it harder for readers to want to read the actual title and enjoy the cover.

I suggest opting for a dark forest with snow as the background, and a silhouette instead of a face claim in front of the woods - highlighted in a sort of reddish light at the edges to make it pop against the black of the forest; as well as to put the title ‘Woods’ in the center of it, with a larger size to make it appear bold without distracting from the background. I love the blood stain on the title, which can be incorporated into my suggestion, albeit the title would have to be slimmer and not bold.

⟨ 🪄 ⟩ ── Title [4.5/5]

The term ‘Woods’ is one that is commonly used in settings of horror and the paranormal, however it works very well as a title for a book. The title can be ominous, depending on how it is presented in the cover, and how the blurb showcases it. Personally, the title’s simplicity and straightforwardness brings about a curiosity in readers, begging the questions of ‘why the woods?’, and ‘what is in the woods?’.

⟨ 🪄 ⟩ ── Blurb [2.5/5]

The blurb felt a bit confusing. While the opening line felt very ominous and intriguing, the next two paragraphs didn’t give me the sense of urgency unlike the first line. While I did enjoy the introduction of the character and plot, it felt a bit out of place and didn’t match the intensity of the warning. I think you should remove the introduction they made about Felix and instead focus on the second paragraph, expanding it slightly to add more subtle detail. The introduction of the character can be relegated to the actual chapters, where we will undoubtedly learn about Felix.

⟨ 🪄 ⟩ ── Inception [4.5/10]

Chapter 1 is used by authors to introduce the readers to the story, it is meant to captivate and hold their attention. It is said that a good first chapter is the foundation to a good story. While I was reading the first chapter, it didn’t really feel like the start of the story. Instead, it felt like a brief essay about guilt. There was no plot or character introduction, nothing of note that would hook me into the story.

Might I suggest you that instead of writing the chapter based on the banner title, you use the opportunity to grab hold of the reader's attention by introducing us to the character and plot firsthand, instead of starting it all in chapter 2. While the essay was interesting, it doesn’t really do much to further the story, or intrigue the reader into continuing to read.

⟨ 🪄 ⟩ ── Plot, Idea and Execution [19.5/25]

The plot of the story is fairly interesting and intriguing. While I do think that the woods is a common setting for horror and paranormal stories, it is still a very good choice regardless. The idea of people choosing to go to an abandoned (?) private property to ski is wild to me, but not surprising in the least. However, I do find the execution to be quite lacking. While I do admit that it is unique, it doesn’t allow for much plot progression and character development as, so far, the main point of view we’re getting is from Felix. This isn’t a problem on its own, but when combined with short chapters, then it does become one. I was hoping that the chapters would be longer, especially with the way that your are going for a more journal type of writing rather than the more traditional way of writing a novel. I also wish there were descriptions of each scene, rather than solely focusing on Felix’s thoughts on what is happening.

⟨ 🪄 ⟩ ── Characters and Emotions [7.5/15]

Thus far, you have introduced to us four characters but has only focused on one to develop - Felix. Felix, being our narrator, doesn't appear to be reliable nor does he seem unreliable neither. However, I do find that the other characters lack their own personal development because there is no dialogue between them. The story takes on a singular point of view, with no regard for the other characters. While I did read the character sheets, character sheets should not, and are not, a substitute for proper character development in a story.

⟨ 🪄 ⟩ ── Writing Style and Tone [8.5/10]

I find your writing style to be unique. It’s a bit uncommon to read stories that take on a journaling quality, rather than the traditional narration of stories. However, I do find that it fails to clearly express the scenes and dialogue as the spotlight is on what Felix is seeing, feeling, and thinking. My suggestion is for you to find a way to describe the setting and scenes more, without disrupting the journaling style of writing.

⟨ 🪄 ⟩ ── Grammar Point [18.5/20]

The author has a very good grasp on grammar with only a few little mistakes littered throughout. The grammatical errors are quite small, and do not cause problems in the storyline and execution.

/ 🔮 / TOTAL ── [72.5/100]

–TEAM DREAMERS–