Forevermore

Thirty Five

"This is probably my favorite song on the album," Layla says as the next track on Olivia Rodrigo's album begins to play.

I look at the TV in my living room to read the title making the bed.

I've been trying hard to pay attention to everything, but my mind is elsewhere.

The end of the quarter is next week. I can't stop myself from checking the app to see my grades every five seconds. Every time I look, it's the same results: A's in every class and no missing assignments. It doesn't matter, though. I can't shake the fear that I might've missed something all those times.

Not only am I anxious about school, I'm anxious about the fact that I'm anxious about school. I guess it was dumb to assume everything would get it better and I'd be perfectly fine just because I kissed Ezra, who's been an immense help in everything. Sure, it's nonsensical to have thought that, but that didn't stop me.

Last night I stayed up until two in the morning, getting as ahead of the assignments as I could and studying for Friday's test in Trigonometry.

And now, here I sit, unable to give my friend group the attention I wish I could. I'm such an awful friend.

The song currently playing is barely in the first verse when I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. Lucas's practice got canceled due to rain which means he and Ezra are hanging out here.

Just as I suspected, my brother is followed by his best friend.

His best friend who I'm secretly...with, I guess you could call it. It's only been five days since the kiss and we've both been relatively busy, so there's no pressure for labels or anything like that, but I still have no idea what to refer to him as.

Ezra catches my stare and smiles at me.

"Turn this shitty music off," Lucas says as he turns into the kitchen. "Our earbuds are bleeding up there."

My gaze remains on Ezra, who stays on the stairs and shakes his head, eyeing Lucas like he's dumb.

"If we get lucky, you might just die from your loss of blood," Lihn shouts at my brother.

Lucas promptly turns around and walks towards the living room. "Who said that?"

"Lihn," Layla instantly tattles.

Kiara lets out a quiet laugh from beside me as Lucas gets closer. He stops just behind me and for a moment, I think he's gonna hit me, but he doesn't.

He ruffles up Lihn's hair, which is definitely the best way to mess with her. She turns around and tries to push him away, but he gets another hand on her head to ruffle her hair up even more.

"Leave her alone, Lucas," I bite out.

At once, Lihn finally gets a good hit, pushing him away by his shoulder. "You're such a brat," she mutters, turning to face the TV.

"At least I have good music taste."

"Get lost," I warn him.

His laughs are louder than the music as he returns to the kitchen.

Lihn lets out a sigh, crossing her arms when she turns back around. I've never seen someone that ruffles her feathers more than my brother. "I'm sorry, Indi, but I cannot stand him."

I let out a laugh. "You wouldn't be the first."

And once everyone returns to listening to the music, I open my phones to check my grades again. After refreshing, I realize that my Trig grade has gone down by a tenth of a percent. 94.6 to 94.5. I know it's not a lot, but my heart rate still quickens at the sight of a lower number.

I look around at all my friends, wondering if they'd hate me for going up to my room to study for the upcoming Trig test. Of course, that'd be awful on my part, but my grades...

My eyes catch Ezra, who's leaning on the railing at the bottom of the staircase with his eyes on me. It's like magic, how all the muscles in my body rest at once. All I can do is smile.

I angle my head upstairs, trying to send a signal to him.

He catches it then discreetly holds up two fingers mouthing, two minutes.

I nod, feeling fully relaxed when I turn my attention back to the living room now.

The next song that plays is logical and I wait for the two minutes to pass before getting off the couch.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I tell everyone.

Layla groans. "But you're gonna miss the briiiidge."

"Just pause it, I'll be back in a few minutes."

She does, and then I go up the stairs, turning the hall towards my room.

I find that my steps are always a bit quicker than usual when I'm walking towards a place that Ezra will be, which is the case now.

I go into my room, finding Ezra standing by the window, looking out it.

He doesn't hear me until I close the door behind me, causing him to turn around with a smile on his face.

"Indigo," he says. "Are you–"

I don't wait for him to finish that sentence before wrapping my arms around him. He staggers, pausing for only a quick second before wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

We're silent for a few seconds. All I can hear is his heartbeat and our breaths.

"What's this for?" he asks.

"I just needed to hug you." There's some more silence before I ask, "Is that okay?"

His hold tightens. "Of course. It'll never not be okay."

After a second, I pull my head back, not letting go of him as I press a gentle kiss to his jaw. With his chest so close to me, I can feel his heart rate quicken, but I might just be confusing that with my own.

His eyes find mine with a look that I'm sure is reflected in my own.

"You should probably get back before Lucas gets suspicious," I whisper.

"Yeah," he replies. "Probably."

I only move to rest my head under his chin again.