Trainwreck - Eren x Reader

Chapter Nine: Third Time's a Charm?

You like to think back to that moment. Replay it in your head as if it were a record player, but one of those old record players. The ones that get jammed and replay the same tune over and over again. It was ridiculous. You felt pathetic. It was as if you had never had a romantic interaction with a boy. All he did was hand you a sweatshirt because you were cold. Many others have probably done that to you; why is it only a big deal now?

That's the thing about Eren, that's the thing that terrifies you the most about him. You feel like a kid. You feel nervous looking at him and making eye contact, hot and sweaty after your skin accidentally touches his. It's twice as intense as that first crush everyone remembers, that first love everyone carries with them. God, you can't even remember your first love's name! Eren makes you question the feeling in your chest. He makes you feel like this is the first time you've ever fallen, and it's treacherous; it haunts you. You feel unsure of when to move or step forward and when to proceed and advance. So you don't. You simply stand still.

A raindrop quickly slides down the window you lay your head against.

It has been a few weeks since Eren invited you to Historia's beach house. You finished the first semester of your senior year. The thought of how fast the year has gone by makes your head spin. You can't believe this time next year, you'll be in college, probably stressing about your grades and coming back home for Christmas.

I wonder if Eren and I will still be together.

You tightly close your eyes and squeeze that thought away. It isn't important.

You hear the girls in the car blabber and sing along to whatever song is jammed on the radio, well, glitching because the music they downloaded illegally isn't working, shocker! You don't know whose it was; you have kept your eyes focused on the cloudy weather outside for the past few hours. You feel a bit sick, but you are not sure what you can blame it on, the car or your disgustingly sweet thoughts of Eren.

You've never been the obsessive type and have never felt sick to your stomach over not having someone. Frankly, you've spent most of your teen years away from boys because all they bring is drama and pain. You don't know what's remotely different about Eren from every other boy you've met before, but it works; God, how it works in his favor. You feel miserable at times. You feel as if this is all in your head. What if this is entirely one-sided? What if he's perfectly fine and doesn't care about you and the potential relationship you've built in your head?

Ugh.

The closer you get there, the lower down your stomach falls. With every meter passing by, the tingle on your fingertips grows more feeble, unstable. It worries you, really. How bad have you gotten that even the anxious feelings within you have become unpredictable?
You were up all night, for your excitement forbade you from peace. All you were able to get were a few measly hours. A haze so painful encircled your head that the rocking from it resting against the window surprisingly soothed you; your eyelids fell heavy. Your head felt stuck as if you had just crashed after allowing yourself to indulge in a much too-sweet pastry—your brain, finally ready to admit defeat and slow down. You don't fight it off; you allow your body and mind to rest.

***

"Hey, c'mon! Wake up. We're here!" Historia shakes you awake.

It's brighter now than it was before. It's still cloudy, of course, but the sun has managed to shine through. You still feel the heaviness you did this morning, but it is now evenly spread throughout your body instead of residing only in your heart and mind. With a quick stretch, you're out the door.

Historia lives in a house on the top of a small hill, not that close to the sea, but close enough to walk there. Her home is average-sized, actually. The stairs are a bit tight, but the main room is large, with two queen-sized beds.