I sat in my room in silence like usual, just waiting for the next worker to come in or the next doctor to check on me. It’s getting annoying. Repetitive. I want it to stop, I wanna go home. But that’s not an option, apparently.
Just more silence as I sit and wait. At least the room they gave me is colorful. I still want to leave this place.
The door opened with the sound of a keycard fumbling a bit and an unfamiliar worker stepped in.
“Good morning, subject ████. I’m ████████ and I will be asking you a couple questions today.” I just looked at him with no expression and nothing behind my eyes. “You will have to speak up if you want this questionnaire to be done with…” He trailed off and I zoned out. He set his stuff down as he sat in a chair that he brought in front of me. I still didn’t speak.
“You need to talk, subject ████.”
“Appelle-moi par mon nom. Peut-être qu'alors nous parlerons.” I spoke, just not English, which he wasn’t happy about.
“English. You do know how to speak it. We know you do.” He looked upset.
I just glared at him.
He sighed, “You’re a lost cause. I don’t even know why the Federation agrees to keep trying with you. They should just ʳⁱᵖ ᵒᶠᶠ ʸᵒᵘʳ ʷⁱⁿᵍˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ˡᵉᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵇˡᵉᵉᵈ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠˡᵒᵒʳ‧” My ears are ringing my ears are ringing I can’t hear I can’t I can’t I CAN’T THINK WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY IS HE TOUCHING ME? STOP STOP STOP PLEASE NO I CAN’T SPEAK IS MY MOUTH COVERED? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONO NONO NONO—
.
I sat in a corner of my room. My clothes were torn and dirty, more so than usual, and were stained with even more blood. It hurts, but I’m basically numb to the pain at this point. This has been happening for way too long, it’s starting to bother me less and less to the point where my brain thinks of it all as normal, the daily routine. He comes in, asks questions and no matter if I answer or not, he touches and touches and won’t stop touching. But it’s normal now. It’s fine. Everything is fine and I. Am. Fine.
.
Lights sounds too much is happening I’m trying to leave the pain got worse they kept sticking things in my skin and tearing out the feathers on my wings and it hurt too much I have to leave let me leave the lights are so bright the sounds are so loud it hurts it hurts I’m so weak I wanna pass out I don’t want to be here I wanna go let me go- Air. Fresh air. I’m outside. I got out. I’m free…
.
IT’S BEEN YEARS WHY AM I BACK PLEASE NO NOT AGAIN NO NONONONONO NO NO NO NO. NO. FUCK WHY AM I BACK WHY?????????????
“WELCOME BACK, BROOKE. :〕” The smile the stupid FUCKING SMILE. His stupid monotone voice. I can’t speak, I can’t move. “LETS RESUME WHERE WE LEFT OFF, SHALL WE?” He put a needle in my skin and I felt my vision fade and my body slowly collapse under my weight. How long will it take for me to get out of this FUCKING place?
.
Two, three, four, SIX, NINE, TWENTY, FIFTY, EIGHTY SIX, HOW MANY MORE? I sat there counting my scars, my missing feathers, the amount of times I almost threw up in the span of five minutes. I sat huddled in a corner, wings wrapped around me as a sign of tiredness and weakness.
No one came back into the room. It was empty for the rest of the day. For the rest of the week. Dieu, I was hungry. I almost got desperate enough to resort to- No. I wouldn't ever do that.
I sighed and laid my head on my knees. I didn't know what to do anymore. Everything felt hopeless, I would never see Pomme again. I would never see any of the children. Any of my friends.
I fucking hate it here, on this stupid island.
I hate everything about it.
.
That whole experience… Was it even real? Did any of that even happen? Was the second purgatory a lie or- Did it actually happen? What's going on? Who were most of those people? Were any of those people even real?
Am I even real at this point? I sure don't feel like it. The Federation already messed with me enough to where I'm not who I used to be. I used to be happy, innocent, but now I'm just a worthless mess of dirty feathers and a body full of scars. I hate myself.
.
My friends tell me I'm still beautiful, no matter how many scars there are or how dirty my wings are, and I can't believe them. Not until I get off this island and away from here will I believe anything ever again.
May 9th
2024
hope you enjoyed?
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Caution
Acakshitpost book of /neg alter related stuff written in story/poetry/etc. formatting contains very heavy topics. for example, these may contain (but aren't limited to) themes of abuse, drug/alcohol usage, underage activities (such as drugs, alcohol, sm...
