autumn 🍁

Friend

Marjorie and I went to the bar. We sat down and she looked at me, kinda with wonder in her eyes.
- Autumn?
- Yes?
- Can I ask you something.
- If you must.
- Alright...
She mumbled. Than she continued.
- Why are you like this?
- Like what?
- Why don't you like people?
- Marjorie... You are not a priest and I don't believe in confession. I just don't like people and that's that.
- Okay, okay, I just asked.... Can we at least talk about anything else?
- off course.
That night Marjorie gt drunk, I was also a little tipsy and we talked for hours. I wasn't nothing in particular. We mostly talked about nursery and annoying parents, but it was nice to talk to someone after all those years alone. I was still hurt, but I grow a thick skin and I could not be hurt again. I trusted no one. 

                                  ***

Tomorrow morning I had to go to the work, but I just don't want to deal with people. I got ready and stood there, in front of the mirror. I just couldn't deal with everyone and everything. Things that my father did to me while Reece was out of the house haunted me. Images were just popping in my head. So I got to the kitchen, took the glass and poured me a large amount of wine. I drank that wine, even if it was only 6 in the morning, but images were too strong this time. I didn't know what to do so I smashed that glass on the counter and took one piece of glass. I looked at it really well. I didn't done this in a couple of years and I knew if I do that again I would do it again, but I thought it was my only way out of this mess in my head. So I rolled my sleeve up, bring piece of glass to my skin and i cut deep and hard. Blood was coming from my arm, the pain was awful, it was stronger than my thoughts, so it did the job. Blood was all around the floor. Just like at home.