Suddenly Susan

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Jonathan didn't like hospitals per se–most especially big deserted ones at night. It gave him the creeps. Think Jamie Lee Curtis and Halloween IV.

Edmond snapped on a bank of light switches, flooding the operating theater with scorching light.

"Take your shirt off!" Edmond said. He was surprised at the quick anger in his voice. "Please."

After Jonathan did, he stared at the floor.

Edmond scrunched up his face in distaste and said, "Man, were you always that scrawny?"

"We can't all be hairy chested Ken dolls."

"Right. Now, up on the table."

While Jonathan got himself cozy, Edmond fiddled with the knobs and valves and such. "Normally, we'd have an operating crew of three or four–but I can handle everything."

"My hero!" Jonathan boasted, looking somehow very frail and afraid.

"Ready?" Edmond said all serious like. He held the mask above Jonathan's face.

"Right."

"Sleep tight, Sweet Prince. And when you wake, you'll have a big surprise."

"This is incredible," Jonathan said when he woke up about five hours later. His chin on chest, he stared down, admiring his décolletage. "They look so real!"

"Boobies, Jonathan. Though yours are more properly Knockers."

"I've got to take my hat off to medical science. I can't believe it. Tits! Pop 'em in. Pop 'me out. Just like contact lenses."

"Well...not exactly."

But Jonathan wasn't listening. What he was doing was tweaking his new on-buttons.

"Now they'll be very sensitive for a while—until they've taken root."

"Mmm..."

"Well, I'll just leave the three of you alone together for awhile. So, you can get acquainted."

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