Beauty From Pain

"Well," Harry began. He just sat and looked at me like he never said anything.

"Well what?" I asked. He looked at me slightly confused. Obviously he was more intoxicated than I thought.

"You have some explaining to do for yourself Kate Kat," he said, his words slurring. Just a few hours ago I was wishing he would call me by his familiar nick name for me, but now it was like poison in his mouth. He didn't know what he was saying. His words were short and unmeaning full, and that scared me.

"You brought me here," I reminded him.

"Oh yeah," he said with a chuckle, "I'm letting you stay at my house, but you better not expect me to forgive you. Remember that Katy?"

"I never apologized," I told him.

"What?" He spat, becoming suddenly sober, like my words sucked the alcohol right from him. "You remember what you said don't you?"

"Yes. And I meant it," I replied firmly, "you cheated on me, what were you expecting me to say?"

"I'm sorry Kake," he said, the sensitivity returning to his eyes, "I really am. But you had no right to say those things about Nick."

"I was trying to wake you up a bit," I told him, "I was helping you. I couldn't let you live like that, you needed to get over it."

"Thanks a lot. It really helped," Harry said with a sarcastic tone that felt like a slap in the face.

"What do you want me to say Harry? It's over. I can't take it back," I said rubbing my face in exhaustion.

"You could at least apologize," he said sounding hurt. I looked over at him to meet his eyes but he was looking down. I paused, thinking about the right words to say, but Harry cut me off.

"I'll go first. I'm sorry I killed Nick. I'm sorry Anna died. I'm sorry I was so upset. I'm sorry I made it hard on you," as Harry went on, his apologies got faster and louder until tears were spilling over his cheeks, "I'm sorry I kissed you. I'm sorry I loved you. I'm sorry I saw Taylor. I'm sorry you found out. I'm sorry your mom died. I'm sorry you have to live like this. I'm sorry you've stopped eating. I'm sorry you don't smile anymore. I'm sorry we fight all the time. I'm sorry I was a shitty talking buddy. I'm sorry for everything. Every word, every day, everything I ever did, I'm sorry. Can you find one thing to apologize for now?"

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," I said leaning my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around my waist. We fit together just like we used to. Like we memorized each others bodies exactly, right where the fit, right where they belong. "Am I a bad person?" I whispered into the night.

"Of course not," he said, reassuring me with a kiss in my hair, "you're the best person I know." I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't. It felt like he was reading someone else's words to me, instead of his own. If I was a good person, none of this would have happened. This was obviously some sort of punishment.

I nuzzled down deeper into his chest, searching for the shivers that warmed my body that I used to get every time I touched him. For some reason they weren't there, it was like he was empty. The thought brought tears to my eyes. His breath, hot on my face, still reeked of alcohol. I wanted to go. This wasn't the Harry I knew. This was a stranger. "Can we go home now?" I asked in a shaky voice.

"Sure Kate Kat," he said standing up.

"Don't call me that," I said a little too harshly. He stared back at me with a confused look. "I'm sorry," I said, and ran home ahead of him.

When I walked in, I ignored the questions of the other boys, and ran straight up to the guest room. I closed the door and leaned my back into it. My knees eventually gave out beneath me, and I fell into a sobbing heap on the floor. I cried so hard my body hurt. I have nothing left, I thought to myself. I don't know how long I stayed like that, just heaving on the floor. Niall's voice and a knock on the door pulled me up from the ground. I opened the door, and immediately Niall's face dropped in an expression of sympathy.

"Oh Kate," he said sighing.

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This chapter is dedicated to MarihaJoe. Go check out her stories!

Thanks for your help on voting Karry/Kiall I think you are all in for a surprise!

Oh have any of you read Divergent? I just finished it and it's SO FREAKING GOOD! I'm not gonna lie I got some inspiration for this from Four/Tobias and Tris (they're so perfect together ahhh) And they're making it into a movie next year and the guy who plays Four is literally so hot. Anyways if you wanna fangirl about it with me just kik me @directioners_like_us

Thanks!