Death And Love Poems (2) Mafia Romance

49. Good girl

Roxana

"And now I need you to apologize and behave."

"Thiago, this is not funny at all."

"It isn't meant to be. It's not a game and I am not a toy you can walk out on when you see fit. As you cannot get someone out of a whiteness-protecting program when you change your mind on a whim."

"I want to talk to Dani right now! Actually, I want to see Dani and we will both be on our way. This is not working!"

I am what I didn't expect to be: angry.

"Why? This was working marvellously fine before your weird ex showed up. You told me you loved me and we had a lot of sex. Everything was great till... Today?"

"That's not it!"

"Isn't it?" He comes close, so close I can feel his breath on my face.

"No! You kidnapped my brother. It has nothing to do with Marco."

"Marco... Now you say his name. The same Marco that you said wanted to murder you a few days ago. You two have a very weird relationship. Anyway, I haven't done anything you didn't allow me, even asked for."

"It doesn't matter what I said! I want him out! I want to see him!"

"If you behave. If you are a very good girl I might do you a favor. In a few months. And you can talk to him. But you need to be on your best behaviour and make me very happy."

"This is sick!"

"No, sick si you playing with everyone's life; mine, your brother's. You said you hated mafioso yet it doesn't look like it at all. Did he 'rape' you too?" The inflexion of his voice when he says rape shows bluntly the sarcasm.

"No... I..."

"Well, he is one too. Newsflash. Exactly like all the others that you said maimed you and your family. Yet you fucked him."

It's so mortifying because part of it is true and he wouldn't understand the difference.

"You know that he has a girlfriend, who he will marry soon?"

I nod. Yes, he does. This obvious statement gets to me. So much, I feel like crying. Why does this stupid sentence hurt so much? Why does this whole discussion get to me?

"And now he went back to her. He didn't stay with you. But why would you think he would?"

Yes, why would I think that? Why am I so stupidly heartbroken now all of a sudden? It's so horrible I can't think clearly. Thiago wraps his arms around me. I can't help thinking that he is somehow right: Marco is not here. I didn't expect him to be but then he was and I was so high.

"I don't think you have feelings for him though. Genuine and healthy ones there is. I think he gave quite a bit of Stockholm syndrome."

"I don't think so. He was always very kind, unlike all the others," I say but my voice sounds meek.

"No, he wasn't, Roxana. He couldn't have been because people like him aren't kind."

"You don't know him," I whisper stoicly.

"And you think you do?"

"Yeah..."

"That is wrong. Now calm down and be a good girl." Only now I am noticing that I am crying and hiccuping. I am a bit fuzzy in the head. I just had a miscarriage; I guess this makes you a little bit unstable. "We are going to go home now and you are going to be the best fiance and I am going to take care of everything. And if you act exemplarily, we can go see Dani in some weeks."