I Blame You

14

The walk of shame home was something I'm glad no one got the chance to see. After my ego had bluntly refused Luca's offer for a ride, the walk home gave me enough time to gather so much anxiety that I'd be surprised if I got home not to find all my things packed and ready for me to be shipped out to a boarding school in Utah.
No matter what age I became, my mother always had a semblance of control over my life.
I couldn't really blame her though.
After dad died she had to raise me alone, funds were tight but she still did that. And here I was, giving her stress constantly this last month.
I wouldn't be surprised if she thought I'd started doing drugs.

When I could see the porch light on from down the street, I knew she was seated outside waiting for me, which meant I couldn't go to my room and try to pretend I did not skip last period and basically spend hours sleeping in the street. I mean what if I got robbed or something way worse happened to me. What was I thinking? SIGH

Well I guess I could rethink my life choices later because as I was walking down the driveway, I could now see my mom sitting exactly on the spot I knew she would be, waiting for me.

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"Hey mom, Watsup?"
Okay try to play it cool Ty maybe its not that deep.

"Where were you Tyson?"

"Sorry mom hey...I just got caught up with a lot of things at sch---"

"Don't lie to me Ty," she interrupted ".....you don't know how many hours I spent sitting out hear ever since the school called me to tell me you missed some lessons, stressing and trying to think of where you where? I even called Samantha to try and find out where my own son was.
I get you're all grown up now and you want all the space you've been preaching about ever since you turned 18 but you could at least have called.....all this stress wondering if something had happened to you.....wondering if I was truly alone this time-" 

I hadn't noticed but at that moment her words were cut off by a sob and I knew I had truly messed up this time. I got up and knelt next to her and gave her the tightest hug I could because I knew I couldn't even apologise. The dread I'm sure she felt, we both felt it some years back when we heard dad wasn't coming back home and I felt very bad for making her feel that way.

"I'll do better mom" I mumbled as I kept on hugging her as she cried it out.

...................................................................................

The following day, everything between mom and I was back to normal...and she never brought it up again but I knew that things had to change................. starting with my Luca situation, which had caused all this.

So when I woke up the next morning , I started to accept that maybe I was BI- but one thing I knew for sure is that I no longer wanted Lucas Myers in my life. He brought out the worst in me and made me hurt my mom in the process.
I don't entirely blame him because i know i contributed to my mom's own pain but Luca had to go.
PEACEFULLY! Of course.

So the first thing I did when I got to school that morning was look for Luca and luckily I found him parked at the far end of the parking lot, just having got to school himself and to my utter relief , he was alone.
Great.

 I didn't need an audience for this short and brief conversation.

GET IN GET OUT. Say what I want and leave.

"Sup Luca" I practically blurted as I approaced him.
I mean who says 'sup' anymore. Catch a grip Tyson. I mentally berated myself as I stopped Infront of him, while he grabbed his bag and just gave me a side-eye of acknowledgement.

"Ohh now you're talking to me" he snorted

"Hey mann, I'm not here to fight, and while I enjoyed our little back and forth, I'm not that man anymore, I'm changed"

"Changed? And what happened between last night and this morning....Did you meet God on your little trot home? he snickered whilst leaning on his car

"Say what you want Myres, I'm  just here to say my peace....I'm here to kindly ask you to leave me the fuck alone because I'm leaving this bs and I really want to move on with my life....whatever mid-life crisis you're going through please leave me out of it, cause I'm done being your little play toy. I'm not gay man okay and I don't care if you are...just figure your shitt out okay as long as its 10miles away from me"

"You really got it all figured out huh Princess? Well let me tell you something..... "    he said as he started walking towards me    "........you don't get to tell me what to do when you decide to feel like a pussy, unlike you, I know what I want....and that's my dick buried deep inside your tiny little hole and you may deny it all you want but I know your dick only sings for me now....so get off your high horse okay....I know you'll come crawling back" he smiled as he  stopped just barely a foot from where I was standing

"You disgust me" I spat ".....make sure you stay away from me Luca or I swear you'll regret it"

And with that I turned around and started walking towards the school entrance before I fell to my knees and literally begged him to do just what he had said.

                                                              ...................................................................

I spent the rest of the day in a daze.
Lucas Myres wanted to fuck me.

what had the world come to?

 I mean he basically told me to my face. I mean who does he think he is? implying such horrendous things. And who says if we were to fuck (which will never happen in a million years) that I wouldn't be the one doing the fucking.
I'm not his bitch. That fucking prick.

My mind was filled with so many bad names and things I wanted to do to him that wouldn't involve me going to prison but I just couldn't help the thought of what he said haunting my every waking thought.

And with all the good 18 years I've been here on this godforsaken planet for the first time in my like I felt my hole twitch.

THE FUCK!!!!

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HEY LOVLIES pleaseeee DON'T BE MAD....I KNOW  I LEFT THIS STORY HANGING AND I KNOW HOW FRUSTRATING THAT IS CAUSE I ALSO HATE IT BUT PLEASE BEAR WITH ME.
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHOSE READ I BLAME YOU SO FAR.
YOU MAKE ME HAPPY. I'LL TRY MY BEST TO DO RIGHT BY YOU AND FINISH THE BOOK LIKE YOU ALL DESERVE
LOVE YOU ALL....BYE!!!!!!!

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