𝐖𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒

•i don't hate you (Katie Mccabe)

Growing up without a father always made the holidays harder, especially when all your teammates were so excited to see their family's now that they can finally have a break. you'd always avoided the questions of your plans, you knew they were genuinely curious but family was the last thing you wanted to talk about with them. it's not all bad, you loved your mother more than anything in the world, she's the most supportive person in your life. you just chose not to talk because it was always inevitable that the dad questions would soon follow.

"i'm going home to Milton Keynes for christmas then i'll be back up on the 27th if anyone's around?" leah says, looking in your direction noticing you hadn't gotten involved in the conversation. you smiled softly before looking back at your phone, scrolling through your photos to find ones that could be deleted.

they carried on their conversation, unaware you weren't really paying attention. you'd deleted a few photos at this point, smiling at some as you remembered the stories behind them. Your heart felt like it stopped as you got to one photo, the only photo you kept of your father before he left, it was from your tenth birthday. it was also the last time you saw him. they all turned their heads in your direction as they heard you quickly stand up and walk out of the door.

"what's going on with her?" Beth questioned, racking her brain to figure out if anything could have offended you about their conversation, "how would we know?  she was on her phone most of the time, as always." katie mumbled before getting her water bottle and walking out.

you and katie never got along, with you being house mates at training not a day passed where you didn't find a way to get at each others throats about something. you didn't know why she hated you but it seemed that as soon as you got to Arsenal she had a problem with you. At first it hurt you as you tried to be nice to her, you really liked how she played and had seen a few of her interviews before at games. you originally thought you could be good friends, even stating in an interview before you met the girls that you were excited to meet her as you played very similar and always got yellow cards. over time you grew to argue back and she knew how to push you and get you worked up. it didn't help that she was always the first to mention her huge family and how much she loved her dad but you knew she wasn't responsible for how you felt about yours.

you were now sat on a bench a little walk away from the training centre, still close enough for anybody who left the building to be able to see you. you reached into your bag and pulled out a cigarette. you never smoked really, unless you were drunk and were offered one in passing but you used to to help you manage your stress so you didn't build it up. you lit the end as you inhaled deeply, letting the nicotine hit your lungs giving you an instant mood enhance. You only quit because it bettered your performance as a player, obviously you were way healthier off of nicotine but today you needed it.

"they'll kill you one day, you know?" the irish accent hit your ears as she laughed, you rolled your eyes and inhaled again. "then you'll be happy to see me go" you replied flatly as she took a seat further up the bench. she stayed in silence for a second as you raised it to your lips, suddenly the feeling fading as the cigarette got taken from your hand and stepped on with the bottom of her trainers.

you shot from your seat as you turned in anger, "katie, why the fuck would you do that?!" you rolled your eyes afterwards, realising how stupid you must look over a cigarette. "you shouldn't be smoking those y/n. they're not good for you, you know that."she replied in a flat tone, not bothering to raise her voice. you finally sat back down, looking at your hands before responding. "it's not your decision what i do, mccabe." her eyebrow raised as you called her by her last name, almost shocked that you were this annoyed over it. "yeah maybe it's not my decision but i've never seen you have one before so why are you starting to now?" you placed your hands to your sides, partly confused about why she cared but also how she'd noticed. she never paid attention to what you did.