Farting Is An Art Form (Cursed Dan and Phil Fanfiction)

Farting Is An Art Form

It was a cold winter morning, the snow was softly falling on the pavement, slowly blanketing the concrete in an ethereal white and that says a lot, considering London mostly had rain which was very fucking typical British weather. Dan and Phil were fucking about, teasing and laughing with eachother like they ususally do when they finally got hungry and decided to order a spicy pizza for their dinner. Phil was indecisive as he had too many ideas of what to put on their pizza to share but Dan on the other hand was quick to decide as it was just pizza and pizza was food that he just wanted to shove in his mouth (that's what she said) and so Dan ordered. The decided toppings were; pepperoni, onions, red and green peppers and spicy chicken and so the two gays waited.

"Dan, are you going to be okay?" Phil asked with a chuckle.

"What do you mean by that, Phil?" Dan responded with a question. "The spiciness and my stomach?"

"That is exactly it," Phil replied with a childish grin. "The toilet goes through enough, Daniel."

"Oh, fuck off! Shut up! I'm not gonna shit Phil, probably!" Dan replied with a chuckle and a grin in return. "No but seriously, I'll be fine, I suffer enough just by my mere existence anyway."

Phil just giggled adorably and covered his mouth like he usually did when laughing and before the world could even explode thanks to global warming and the sun, the pizza arrived not a minute too soon. Considering Dan ordered it, Phil went to collect it and pay before heading back inside to his overdramatic, yet hilarious, boyfriend. The pizza size they ordered was extra large and so they had several slices each and then after about 15 minutes, Dan's stomach started rumbling but not in an "I'm starving" kinda way but in an "I'm gonna fart at any given moment" kinda way. Phil just gave Dan a look and stifled yet another laugh. Dan looked back at him but spoke up.

"Look, I'm fine, it's just gas," Dan replied before laughing. 

"Oh, so like me, after too much dairy?" Phil replied with a laugh in return.

"Exactly and I'll prove it right now bitch!" Dan answered and then farted loudly before grinning childishly and wheezed in a chuckle. "See, I fucking told you!"

However, Phil felt...different. He laughed, naturally but all of a sudden, he wanted to just jump on Dan and aggressively make out with him. Did he find Dan farting right next to him...arousing? No, that was stupid. With a good 20 minutes of them laughing at a fart, Phil just started drinking his Pepsi as Dan did too before Dan then burped loudly, the exact same way he did in that one Mukbang video in 2018 and yet, that didn't make Phil feel different. In spite of that fact, Dan then farted again several times this time and there was that feeling again. He had to know if this was a new kink of his that he just suddenly discovered and never knew and/or felt before.

"Hey Dan, do that again," Phil said as he inched his face closer to Dan in curiosity as his ice blue eyes bored directly into Dan's cocoa brown ones.

"What? Fart? I mean, I still need to, I honestly don't think I can fucking stop tonight at this point," Dan replied with a snort of laughter. "But sure, if you say so Phil."

With that, Dan farted loudly again and Phil's ice blue eyes went wide. He had finally concluded without a shadow of doubt in his mind that Dan farting close to him, definitely aroused him and he never knew that before and as Dan opened his mouth to say something, Phil immediately placed his hand on his cheek and passionately kissed him on the lips. Dan was both surprised yet curious as to why Phil instantly passionately kissed him after he let rip and blatantly asked him to. He then broke the kiss, breathing heavily, like hitting an extra horny climax after having sex.

"Um, Phil, are you okay?" Dan asked, now in genuine concern as his face was now scarlet in blushing.

"I may or may not have discovered a new kink of mine," Phil admitted before sighing and shaking his head. "You, Daniel, farting this close to me...turns me on."

"What...?" Dan responded as his cocoa brown eyes went wide as he stared at Phil a bit before he snorted again, covered his mouth and cracked up hooting in hysterics. "Are you actually serious? I'm both surprised yet not surprised at all to be honest but you do you Phil and to be honest, I'd be lying if I said farting didn't feel good and arouse me too."

"Oh thank God," Phil breathed a sigh of relief. "In that case, keep going and I'll want to jump on you everytime."

"Fucking yes sir, Master Lester," Dan responded obediently, enjoying every minute of this, before farting again, several times.

With that, Phil started slowly caressing Dan's thigh as he kissed his neck. Dan moaned in pleasure as anytime Phil kissed his neck, it turned him on. As instructed and honestly because Dan couldn't stop even if he wanted to, Dan continued farting as he and Phil passionately made out with eachother before going full Sims and woohooing in bed...before eventually falling asleep, though even then, Dan kept passing gas whilst sleeping all the way through until the morning.

-The End-