tayvis oneshots ★

for just one hour of sunshine

this is built off the scaffolding of something i wrote agesss ago, so the tone is slightly different to what i usually write! ALSO - as i was reading this over before posting it, i realised this could sort of follow 'tale as old as time,' so you can read this as a part 4 if you like, but just be aware i didn't have that in mind when i wrote it. anway! i hope you enjoy, and thank you for reading :)

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As if a window was left open somewhere in the apartment, a chill flowed into the bedroom and goosebumps appeared on Taylor's arms, making her shiver slightly.

And just like that, in the comfort of his arms, the spell broke. Taylor sighed, unnaturally heavily, and wiggled out of his grasp. She sat up against the headboard, pulling the duvet up to her neck.

Taylor swallowed, locking eyes with Travis.

"This is so..." she started.

"What?" Travis said casually.

"You know!" Taylor exclaimed. To her annoyance, Travis just raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "You don't think this is weird?" she asked.

"I haven't thought about it." he shrugged.

Taylor shot him a glare. "Well, think about it now."

Travis looked up at the ceiling.

"I guess I'm not sure."

She sighed, "You're useless."

Taylor leaned over the side of the bed to grab her shirt, pulling it over her head as Travis pushed himself off the bed and put on his boxers. He flicked on the lamp beside the bed, and walked into the bathroom.

Taylor huffed as she crawled across her bed and grabbed her laptop, tapping the spacebar impatiently to wake it up. She drew in a long breath as she typed into google, why can't I stop hooking up with my ex?. She bit her lip and her eyes flitted over to the lamp, she could hear it buzzing ever so slightly.

She ignored him when he returned, sitting against the headboard with her and reading the screen. "A bit premature, no?"

Taylor squinted at the screen, clicking on a reddit link and scrolling through the answers, taking a moment to mumble an answer. "What?"

"I mean, 'why can't I stop?'" Travis gestured at the search bar. "This is only the third time. You planning on doing it more?"

Taylor didn't answer. Her fingers froze over the trackpad. She swallowed, gliding her eyes over the words on the screen and no longer reading them. She squeezed her eyes shut, placing her head in her hands. Travis went quiet.

When Taylor sniffed, Travis muttered a very soft, "Tay."

She swiped at her eyes with her sleeve. "You're an asshole."

It was uncalled for, Taylor knew immediately. And so did Travis, "I was only joking..." he hesitated.

But now, Taylor was committed to blaming him. "It's your fault we're in this situation in the first place!"

"Well, sorry if I didn't realise you're the only one allowed to do that," he quipped sarcastically. "You texted me last time."

"Yeah, and then I told you that this wouldn't happen again," Taylor rolled her eyes and closed her laptop, placing it on the bedside table,

"So I was just supposed to be in New York, alone, knowing you're also in the city, and not tell you?"

"Yes," Taylor emphasised, sinking down in the bed and staring at the ceiling.

They both sighed, exhausted. Travis watched the wall across from them. "Why's it such a bad thing, anyway? I mean, unless I'm mistaken, we both definitely enjoy this," he spoke suggestively.

Travis glanced at her with a smile, but it quickly faded away at the sight of her eyes welling up and her eyebrows pinched together slightly. He looked down and picked at a loose thread in the duvet cover.

"You enjoyed it, right?" Travis asked, voice laced with uncertainty.

"Mhm," she nodded, her body tense. "I always enjoy it."

Travis was unconvinced, and anxiously thought back on the night, wondering if he had accidentally hurt her at any point and hadn't noticed. She seemed good the whole time, up until a few minutes ago.

"But then you leave," Taylor whispered.

A pause. They both listened to the sound of the lamp buzzing. Travis looked over at her once again, but she had her eyes closed. He looked down at his hands, and tried to not sigh too loudly. It was an admission that she still cared.

"Do you really not think about it?" Taylor asked. "Does it not consume your whole life? Because this is fucking ruining me," she spoke desperately, shattering his heart.

"Taylor, I haven't moved on, at all," he spoke solemnly. "I just... try not to let myself feel it. Shit's easier that way."

Taylor opened her eyes, but still only looked at the ceiling.

"Why did you reply to my text?" he spoke and the lamp started buzzing again.

"Does there have to be a reason?" Taylor asked.

He hummed. "I think so. If it destroys you like this."

Taylor finally tilted her head and looked at him. He was frowning, concerned.

"It feels like... breathing." After silence, Taylor continued. "I can't have... what we were, anymore. But for a few hours I get to pretend. Until, you know," she gestured feebly. "This part."

"You're wrong," Travis said.

"Don't tell me-"

"You can have what we were," Travis interrupted. Taylor glared and went back to looking at the ceiling.

"Don't," she said firmly.

"Just let me say this," Travis pleaded. He took her silence as a cue to continue. "I don't blame you. For breaking up with me, for any of it. And I never have. Taylor, there's something in your head telling you that you're bad for me and I wish I could convince you that it's not true. I told you early on that I wanted all of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And I still do."

Taylor swallowed. "When are you gonna go?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes. No."

Travis nodded, smiling slightly despite himself. He got up, pulled the duvet back, and got back in the bed. He stretched over to turn the bedside lamp off, plunging the room into darkness. As he shifted to face Taylor, she did the same. As his eyes adjusted, he could make out slight shapes of her facial features. And the moonlight that crept through the gaps in the blinds was reflecting off of her eyes, which were looking directly at him.

"I'm patient, Tay," he whispered, so quiet. Taylor looked contemplative, like she was fighting herself in her head. "I will wait for you, however long it takes. I'll be here when you're ready."

He could hear it against her pillow better than he could see it, Taylor shaking her head so faintly. Like it was more for herself than communicating with him.

"What are you thinking right now, Tay?"

"You know what I'm thinking," Taylor breathed.

Travis smiled. "Yeah. I do." She would be thinking that, despite all he's saying, this will never work out. That she can't let herself have hope, just for it to be destroyed. That she didn't deserve him.

Travis didn't dare tell her he loved her. That might just kill her. But every time he spoke, his words were laced with undertones that both he and Taylor felt.

They didn't speak for the rest of the night. They laid there, for minutes that stretched on and on, wide awake. Until, one of them shuffled slightly, and then the other, into each other's arms. Then they slept.