Kill Or Love

Funeral

The three of us assisted in silence Mia had a very straight face. She was expressionless. Tommy was sitting somewhere near us with my brother. I was standing next to Mia, she would sometimes hold onto my coat, and I would hug her. Sophia Mia's sister was there as well, she could not bear to see her down. I tried very hard to keep a straight face without breaking into tears. The two of us in some way did miss James. James might have been a monster but he always thought two steps beyond the rest of us. He was smart as hell. He always kept his mind cold but his heart warm. In one of the talks we had at a party we were both invited to, he confessed to me that he loved Mia deeply, but he also admitted that he was obsessed with her physique. He was kind but a monster to many. Everyone left us in the cemetery including his father. Who had not shed a single tear? Mia fell to the ground. My brother approached us.

- Should I take Tommy home?

- Yes, please. Play with him if he asks you what happened say that someone left us.

- Got it brother. See you at home then.

I stayed there standing behind Mia, it started to rain, and our coats were going to be damp soon, I was not worried about the coats I was concerned for her, I did not want her to get sick. I truly felt sorry, I wanted to be there for James as he was not there when his cousin died. He did not show up. Not for me, not for Tommy not for Sophia, not for Jordan, for no one. Now I was paying the respects I always had for him but I hated the idea that he died in some else hand and not mine. Mia got up, she had this devastated look on her face. She came straight to me, I did nothing other than to guide her to the car. Once in the car, we fell silent. I did not dare to turn the car engine on. She put her head between her hands, and started sobbing I gave her some pats on the back. She cleaned her face with the back of her sleeve.

- Marcus?- she said with a shaky voice.

- Yes?

- Do you think there is anyone else here in the cemetery?

- I don't think so. Why do you ask?- I say watching her take off her coat and throw it to the back.

- Can you kiss me?- she says inches away from my face. I give her a small kiss on the lips. I drove us to a restaurant. She was looking out the window. I knew she was crying. It was not easy to get over someone who had chained you and now that you are free you don't know what to do with your liberty. I know it was not easy. Yet I wanted to help her get through it. 

I did not feel that emptiness from Jordan anymore, she was exactly like Jordan. I hated the only thing was their personality were different.

- Marcus, do you miss her?- she said looking over at me

- Sometimes, especially in certain moments.- I say glancing at her- Do you miss him?- I say

- I miss his torture, I guess I do miss my drug pain.- She said with a chuckle

- It is okay to miss your drug, since he is not here you will have to learn how to live with that missing piece.- I say

- Was Jordan your drug?

- She was, she drove me crazy, she and I had so many wild nights. And sometimes I miss that. But I've learnt to live with that scar she left on me.- I say with flashbacks of Jordan running through my head.

- What did she look like?

- Like you, except with very clear blue eyes but the same brunette hair and the same face.- I say looking over to her.

- She was beautiful then.- She says smiling to her insides

- Yes, very lovely.- I say in a nostalgic tone.