NURA

Chapter 4

Nate

Aug. 2012, Montana

Nate was sitting on the old porch swing, drinking beer and enjoying the quiet for the first time that day as he watched the sun setting over the horizon. The sky was streaked with brilliant shades of orange, pink, and blue, and he suddenly realized how much he had missed seeing it.

It wasn't possible to do this in New York, with its skyscrapers and concrete all around you. But here, in the middle of nowhere Montana, with the silence surrounding you, broken only by the sounds of crickets and farm animals getting ready for slumber as the darkness crept closer, there was nothing more beautiful than a sunset.

He was alone for the first time that day since Ma' was busy in the kitchen making dinner and Da' was feeding the horses. Nate shook his head as he thought about a dozen workers here that could do that for his dad, but the old man would rather die than miss his alone time with his beasts.

Nate was almost sure that his Da' preferred horses to humans, and at this point in his life, he couldn't help but find himself agreeing with his old man.

After the funeral, Nate had spent the following month locked up inside his house, drinking and wallowing in self-pity, until Megan had finally had enough and called his Ma'.

The woman descended upon New York the next day like a storm, threatening to whoop him like a child if Nate refused to come back home with her. And he may have been a tough ex-marine, but there was nothing scarier than an angry Ma', so he agreed with little to no protest in an attempt to get her off his back.

Nate was, of course, pissed off at first, feeling as if Megan had betrayed him, and the fight that they had that day was the biggest one since becoming friends. Nate had been angry and sad at the time, and Megan was simply there, an easy target for him to dump all of his frustrations on.

He had never regretted anything more in his life than the things he had said to her that day, and he just hoped that he could make it right once he saw his best friend again.

"Do you have another one of those hidden somewhere?" Nate heard his Da' ask, bringing him back to the present.

He looked up to see the man smirking with a knowing look and nodded before pulling a can from behind his back and giving it to him.

It was stupid, is what it was, having to hide when he wanted to have a drink after a long day of hard work. It made him feel like a teenager again and not a grown-ass man, but his Ma' was still convinced that Nate was on his way to becoming an alcoholic ever since she found him that day back in New York.

He couldn't really blame her for thinking like that when he remembered the state he had been in, but enough time had passed for him to realize how stupid he had acted. He was ashamed of himself and knew that Eli would be furious if she could have seen him back then. He had hit rock bottom, and he would be forever grateful to Megan for pulling him up, even if he hadn't been able to appreciate it back then.

"Feeling better?" Da' asked him after a few minutes of silence, catching Nate off guard. The old man was not a very talkative kind, especially if it involved feelings and such, so to hear him ask that came as a surprise.

"Yeah. No." Nate said while watching the workers joking around and getting ready to go home.

Was he feeling better? He wasn't drinking every day; he was eating well and had even started sleeping longer than a few hours at night. But did that mean that he was feeling better?

Nate wasn't sure if he would ever feel normal again. He hadn't just lost his wife that day; he had lost his oldest friend as well.

The two of them had grown up together on this very ranch. Eli was the daughter of his dad's best friend, so they became fast friends from the moment they met.

They went through school together and those horrible years of puberty. Eli was his first everything, and Nate was hers.

They'd spent a few years apart when Nate went to college and the army, and he had seen other people during that time, but Eli had always been at the back of his mind.

Once he returned home, they picked up where they'd left off, and Eli soon moved to New York with him. That's when they met Megan and befriended him.

So now, he couldn't imagine his life going forward without Eli. She had been that one constant in Nate's life, even when everything around him seemed to change, his anchor, and without her, Nate felt like he was drifting away.

"I know how much Eli meant to you, son. And I can't even imagine what it's like to lose someone you love so much. I know I am not big on words, but if I lost your Ma' tomorrow, I would go crazy. She may be a pain in my ass, but she is also the love of my life. So, I understand. I miss her, too. I watched that girl grow up. I was there when her dad died and when her stepmom threw her out. She was a ray of sunshine, and I loved her like my daughter, flesh and blood. No one will ever be able to replace her because she was one of a kind."

The old man paused for a moment, one wrinkled hand shaking slightly as he reached with it and grabbed Nate's shoulder.

"But she is no more, as much as it hurts me to say that, and you are still here, Nate. And don't get me wrong, I am not telling you to forget her and find someone else because I know you can never forget someone like Eli. But you need to move on, son. You need to return to your life and be the amazing doctor I know you are. You need to live. Because as much as I love having you here, I know you are just stalling. You are standing on the sidelines, watching the life pass you by, and I won't allow it. I love you too much, Nate."

He sat there quietly as his dad's words washed over him over and over again while staring into the distance. He was right; of course, Nate knew that he was. He knew that he had to go back. His work and life were in New York, but he was scared. Here, Nate felt safe with his parents at his birth home, and everything seemed easy and better.

But he knew that he needed to move on, so he had to go back. He had to confront all of his demons, all the memories, both good and bad, if he wanted to continue with his life.

"You are right, Da', as much as I hate to admit it." Nate said, to which the man simply nodded, giving him one of his rare hugs before they heard Ma' calling to let them know dinner was ready.

They went in and said their prayers, and as Nate watched them eat and argue about this and that, he couldn't help but smile a little.

They may be a bit crazy, but they loved him, andNate loved them. So tomorrow, he would pack his bags and leave, but tonight,he'll just sit there and enjoy watching his parents bicker like children.