Tourjours pur

Part 24

I don't know who to pair with for potions. James and Sirius try working together, but they aren't allowed to choose the same partners. Slughorn decides to assign the partners, and I'm shoved in a partner with Remus. Not that bad. Remus offers to do most of it, and I let him. It's the first time in a while that he seems to be normal. I join in Sirius and Mary's conversation about Bowie. Remus does too. He asks, "What's your favourite song?"
"I love them all!" Mary laughs, "It's amazing."
Snape scoffs, "Eugh look at the both of them. What sort of disease does that? Poor girlfriend and boyfriend have the same disease."
I look at Remus, who has his sleeves rolled up. His arms are badly scarred, worse than mine. He yanks his sleeves down, but to my surprise, Lily barks, "Shut up Severus! Why do you have to be so horrid?"
"Just look, Lily!" Severus scoffs. I look down at my arms, and snap, "Shut your mouth!"
James's voice takes over mine. He snaps, "Oi, Severus, what are you saying about my mates?"
I groan, knowing the chances of a brawl breaking out is highly likely. Lily snaps, "Stay out of it, Potter! You'll only make it worse!"
The shouting has finally drawn Slughorn's attention, and he sets everyone back on the task. Quiet blankets the room, and Mary whispers, "Snape is so awful. I can't believe Lily is mates with him."
Sirius agrees, and Mary continues, "You know, he says some really horrible stuff with his little friends. I keep telling her how he is."
Lily calls out, "Oi Potter!"
James head spins round, his eyes wide. I glance over at them, and Lily whispers, "Oh, nothing."
I can't help smirking, bursting into laughter as Snape's cauldron explodes. Everyone joins in laughing, and we're all practically rolling on the floor by the time Slughorn starts. Snape blames Remus, and I scoff, "Oh please, Remus didn't do it! He was working with me."
I smirk as Severus scowls at us. He splutters something, but everyone is roaring with laughter. We all walk out, congratulating Remus for ruining Snape's potion. He refuses to tell us how he did it, but I know he did. Suddenly, he pulls me to the side, and asks, "Why didn't you react when Severus called us... when he pointed out our scars?"
"Mother wouldn't have been happy if she got called again," I smirk, "Oh, sorry for the call, your daughter hit the same boy again. Why? Cause he pointed out her scars. My mother would be fuming if she knew people were seeing my scars."
"Why?" Remus asks. I shrug, "She caused 'em. Miserable woman. Do you want to go get a doughnut?"
"From where?" Remus asks. I scoff, "Andy sent me sweets, obviously. I made her order me some muggle ones so you would have something to eat."
"You did that for me?"
"We're best mates, Remus, I'll do whatever for you."

                                                                                                 ***
"They asked you all that at once?" I sigh, a few days later, "Oh, Remus, those idiots. I am sorry about them."
"It's fine," Remus shrugs, "I don't really care. Do you have any questions?"
I hesitate. Yes. I have loads, obviously. I want to desperately know a tonne of things. But the thing is, I don't want to scare him away. Remus mutters, "Sirius asked me about my dad. He... he killed himself."
"I'm so sorry," I gasp, "Do you want a hug?"
Remus nods weakly, and I wrap him into a hug. We look out at the lake. It's Remus's favourite place, presumably. We sit here whenever we don't want to deal with the other boys. Remus pulls away from me, and asks, "Are you going to sign up for the quidditch try outs? I saw you on your broom, before you crashed into the ground."
I snort, laughing as we sit on the floor. Remus waits for me to answer, and I sigh, "Nah. Sirius can try out, but I'd just rather not. Am I a bit too much?"
"What do you mean?" Remus asks. I shrug, "You know, too talkative. I kept talking all week while you had been quiet."
Remus shakes his head, throwing a rock into the lake. It plops into the water, rippling out for a bit longer than I'd assume it would. I say, "Take a sweet."
I hold the little box of muggle sweets. Starbursts. They're brilliant, and I haven't been able to stop eating them. Remus takes one, eating it slowly. He says, "I should go."
"Why?" I ask. Remus has gotten up, and is heading back to the castle. He shakes his head, and mutters, "I should just go."
"Remus?"
"I should go-"
"Talk to me, Remus," I beg. Remus rambles something, pausing but not letting me speak. Eventually, I give up and yell, "STOP PUSHING ME OUT REGULUS."
Remus pauses, turning to me. I called Remus Regulus. I've never done that to anyone before. I knew deep down I want to beg Regulus to talk to me, but... Remus whispers, "Cassi?"
I gasp, "Reg- Remus. I'm so sorry. It's nothing to do with you, it's my own stupid family. Remus, I am so sorry."
"No," Remus shakes his head, "You've gone through a lot. It's normal for you to feel like this. Have you ever called someone the name of one of your relatives?"
I shake my head, and we both crumple to the floor. Remus's shirt is untucked, a giant scar visible. This is different to the other ones. It looks like a huge bite mark. I catch myself glancing, and Remus whispers, "This scar is from the one who bit me."
"It's..." I struggle for words, "Does it hurt?"
Remus shrugs, "Not anymore. It used to, but I don't really notice it anymore. Do you want to talk to Regulus?"
"Yes," I mumble, leaning into Remus. It's his turn to hug me, listening as I whisper, "I want to speak to him, and ask why he's avoiding me. Ask if he really is angry at me, or whether he has been told not to speak to me. Maybe I spend to much time with Sirius. Can I-"
"Oh look, there's loopy lupin and barmy black," Severus's voice makes me jump, "Look at them, Regulus. Freaks."
Regulus looks at me, his eyes wide. From what he has seen, I'm just sat hugging a half blood, and if Severus has been talking to him, my half blood boyfriend. I stand up, and snap, "Reg, we aren't, this isn't-"
"Freaks."