Tourjours pur

Part 43

Sirius has clearly been trying to figure out what Moony has been selling. I sit with James, sitting with my legs in the air, and my back on the floor. My legs are pressed against the wall as James asks, "So, you're definitely coming to mine for Christmas?"
"If that's okay with your mother," I sigh. James nods, and says, "Mum was actually asking if you'd be coming back anyway. She really likes you, Cass."
"She's brilliant," I smile. Remus walks into the common room, sitting next to James. I ask, "Have any of you seen Sirius?"
"Studying," James shrugs. I spin to look at James, and scoff, "Sirius wants to study? Sirius? Out of choice? Are we talking about the same Sirius?"
James nods miserably. I twist my ring, sighing and groaning. Moony asks, "What's the matter?"

I look round the common room. Nobody seems to be listening to me, other than James and Moons. Slowly, I sigh, "I've been missing Andy more than usual. Think it's because of the stupid wedding."
"You haven't mentioned the wedding in a week," James sighs, "That's your record gone. Sorry, sorry, I'm kidding. Do you know if Andromeda has had her baby yet?"
A sixth year hands me a letter, and I sit up excitedly. Andy.
Dear Cassi,
I've had my baby. I know this letter is short, and I am really really sorry, but I thought I should congratulate you? Well done on the betrothal not going horribly wrong. I want to see you in person, and explain why I left. I've really got to go, and I am really sorry again.
-Andy

"Is that it?" Remus asks, looking over my shoulder. I nod, slipping the parchment into my robes. It's mad. That can't be it. James and Remus have been quiet, like they're keeping something from me. I don't care anymore. Everyone is keeping stuff from me. Slowly, I get up, and sigh, "Are you both keeping secrets from me?"
James and Remus exchange glances, and I sigh, "Great. My own best friends wont tell me anything. Hope you both know that's really good."
I storm off, to the library. I've got nobody. Trying to avoid anyone, I bury my head in my hands. There's gently breathing as someone sits next to me and whispers, "Cass?"
"Go away Narcissa," I spit. Narcissa rests her hands on my back, and moves me so she is cradling me. She whispers, "What's the matter?"
"I'm not getting married," I cry, "James And Remus are hiding something from me. Sirius is horrible to me, and Pete? I don't even know. I've got nobody. Maman has uninvited me from Christmas too."
"Uninvited you?" Narcissa sighs, "Maybe that's for the best. You should speak to the boys, if you really want them to speak to you. Boys are stupid creatures. But you have to get married."
"You get a choice," I snap, "Why can't I?"
Narcissa snaps back, "You don't know what Mother and Father did to me after I told everyone about that. I was in pain for days. Weeks. And it was worse because I wasn't used to it. Cass, they searched my mind, went through all of my memories. Saw things that were personal. When I think of certain things, it feels like they've been removed, because Father did remove them. You are going to get married. Okay?"
"Yes, Cissa."

                                                                                   ***
The boys seem to be hiding something more for the next few weeks, and I finally manage to get Pete to break. At dinner one evening, I ask, "When were you going to tell me about your furry little issue?"
James's eyes grow wide, while Sirius and Remus both glare at Peter. It's the day before break, so they've got to tell me now. I sigh, "When?"
"Look, we would have told you," James begins.
"But we didn't know how," Sirius struggles for words. Remus sighs, "It wasn't my idea. Right, they're all doing it, and I don't want you to do it too. Who told you?"
Pete goes red, and I scoff, "Have a guess? Are you seriously going to be doing this?"
The boys all nod, and I sigh. There's no point in trying to convince them not to. Since meeting them all, I've realise that once Sirius and James are set on something, it is going to go ahead. Sirius asks, "Are you angry?"
"I'm too hungry to be angry," I take a bite of my food, "No point in trying to convince you against it either. Although, I was wondering if your mum would be able to do something for us James?"
"What?" James asks. I sigh, "Can I share a room with someone?"
The boys raise their eyebrows, waiting for a reason. I don't want to explain to them, but they're my best mates. They deserve to know. I mutter, "I'm scared of being alone."

Sirius's jaw drops. I can't bring myself to look at them as Pete asks, "Why are you scared of being alone?"
"Pete!" James hisses. I sigh, "After Maman curses me, she locks my bedroom door. I'm alone afterwards. Locked up. I feel so alone anyway, and then I actually can't get to anyone. Andy used to.... she used to sit outside my door and sing to me afterwards, but that's not the point."
"Not even my mother locked the door," Sirius mutters. I shrug, "But that's fine. I mean, I don't really care anymore. I just want to know if there's a chance I can share a room with someone."
Remus shrugs, "We can share a room, if you want. I don't particularly like being alone either."
"Mum wont mind," James yawns slightly, "Anyway, why do you call your mum maman?"
I raise my eyebrows, and say, "I'm French."
"You are?"
"I'm literally french," I sigh, "Born here, but both my parents are half french. Did... did you not know this?"
"Does this mean Sirius is french too?"
"We have consistent conversations in french?" I groan, "James, what did you think we were talking in?"
James shrugs, "I just assumed I was really, really tired."
I always try to keep an open mind about people. Nobody is one hundred percent stupid. But maybe, just maybe, there's an exception to that. An exception called James.