Freedom Wall

Here I Am Again

So to start my story once again,
Here I am back to square one where I keep liking someone who can't be mine. In the first place I know that I don't have a chance with her but I'm too stupid for liking her even after knowing that. I keep trying to distract myself from glancing at her, I keep pushing the thoughts of me liking her, I keep denying my feelings for her, I keep ignoring her in person, I'll treat her coldly in person when she wanna talk or approach me but in the end I'll end up regretting my decisions for doing those things. I wish we could talk once more, I wanna spend time with her talking on Instagram and doing late night talks and talks that reaches till morning without sleeping. I miss her the way she smiles, when ways she would approach me and starts a conversation, I can't resist her and calm down when she's around. I know that it's a mistake, I know that I should not like someone who's in a relationship. The only thing I'm thankful was that I let her know that I like her even though it just a joke.

If you're reading this but I know that would be impossible cause you're not interested in reading Wattpad stories now but let me tell you this since the first time you've messaged me I keep expecting more messages from you. I like it when you're spending your time with me, I like it when you message me at late hours wanting to talk to me, I want to hear your rants again about your dorm mates and friends, I wanna hear your stories again and I wanna talk to you in person. I keep waiting you through writing something useless things to my notes hoping you'll message me again. I don't know what to do with my feelings for you, you even gave advices how to deal with my crush but you didn't know that it was you whom I like the most. My feelings for you keep getting strong day by day it's like a wild fire. I was happy for a moment when I heard that you want to choose yourself first but I end up regretting it by the next day when I hear that he gave you something that made you happy.

I wish for your happiness, good health and strong relationship. I wish that you won't change someday and to continue to be yourself. I wish that you won't change yourself just for that someone it's not a good thing to do.

I will continue admiring you from afar and enjoy the breathtaking view that I can't seem to find somewhere else. I will keep wishing you all the good things in life. I wanna talk with you soon. I wanna hear your rants about your friends and dorm mates again. I wanna have all your attention all mine. I'm always here waiting for you like the advice you gave me during that night. I'm always here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to hear your problems in life.