The Last Architects

Chapter Twenty-Eight.

 I hated the silence that always settled between Ema and me. I wanted the yelling and fighting back. It was so much better than avoiding even glancing in each other's general directions, and I found myself at the dorm management office many times, but I never actually placed a request to change my dorm.

I felt almost responsible for Ema's well being, he had slowly begun to lose... the shine I had seen before. We no longer even argued in Mr. White's class, even if I said the most outrageous close-minded things, he didn't take the bait.

It was driving me crazy...

As usual, he was late once again, and I couldn't get to sleep. Whoever he was seeing was causing him bad habits...

When the door opened, I looked up immediately, Ema standing at the entrance, blinking heavily in the hallway light, and when he stood there too long, I stood up, walking over to which his eyes widened- he was high. My heart stopped at the sight of his dilated pupils, just like my mother's had been years ago. And as I looked him over, the rest of the signs were there as well, the dry lips, flushed cheeks...

"Ema... Are you high...?" My jaw clenched, and his eyes crossed as they went out of focus, biting his lip as he looked up at me.

"Aha! No! Of course not. No, I'm not high!" He beamed, patting my chest as he walked past me, looking at his hand after, placing over his own chest as he wandered into the dorms.

"... Who let you walk home like this? Fuck's sake, sit down- no," I took his shoulders before he could start declining, sitting him down on my bed so he wouldn't grab at his drawings. "You're dehydrated... Have you even eaten anything?" I took his jaw in my hand to check his lips, then his eyes, letting him wrap his arms around me as he leaned into me,

"I don't remember. I think we got dinner. But I don't remember- Hi!" He looked up at me brightly, smiling as I met his gaze.

"... Hello..." I let my hand rest on his head, I almost felt disappointed... "I'm going to get you some water, can you stay here on the bed for me?"

"...But I wanna go with you." He mumbled, tightening his grip on me, burying his face into my stomach.

"... Ok." I leaned down, carefully picking him up, his happy sigh only causing my chest to tighten. "You know this won't fix any problems you are running from, right?"

"...Says the problem." He laughed, attempting to move his hair from his face, only then did it registered that he had cut it. "Let's get food!"

"Ema, if I'm the problem, talk to me. Don't go stuffing your face into drugs, this stuff- it's bad. I don't care if it's just for fun, you're too- stressed. You'll get addicted. By now it seems this person you are seeing is just causing you to be more and more reliant on them and separating you from others." I walked to the kitchen, getting a glass and filling it with water. "Hell, Ema. They don't seem to care at all if you are actually safe when you aren't with them."

He went silent, and I knew what I said would hardly process in his doped out mind, and when he struggled to get down I let him, following him to his bed into which he fell. "...I'm not stupid...Skyler..." He mumbled into the blankets, "if I wanted to talk about him, I would have."

"No. No, because you are-" I paused, trying to be gentler in my approach, "lonely people do stupid things. But whoever this is, is bad for you. You don't even paint! You don't paint, don't listen to music, you drink more often, you are taking molly, you are losing yourself over this- man! I seriously-" I paused when tears filled his eyes, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry, just drink some water, lay down and try to sleep it off." I sat down next to him, gently helping him sit up, though he turned his head away when I lifted the glass, so as nicely as I could, I took his chin to pull his face back. "Just drink... Please." I whispered, wiping his tears as he finally did. When he began to choke I moved the glass away, bringing him into a light hug to keep him from freaking out at the sensation.

"...Maybe... Maybe I never liked any of those things..." He whispered, falling into me, "...I'm sorry... I'm so sorry- I-." He broke off, beginning to shake in my arms, which I tightened around him.

"Look... I'm here, if you ever need anything, but breaking off that tie is on you. If you don't like something... don't do it." Lifting him onto my lap, I cradled him in my arms, gently rubbing his back. "You don't have to go through stuff alone."

And as he shook in my arms, he tried to catch his breath, shaking his head against me. And I sighed, laying back with him. "Just try to sleep..." I murmured, adjusting my embrace around him so he could get comfortable. I didn't know how to help him...

. . .

I let him sleep in, unable to really face him after last night, heading into classes without him. The huge amount of sickening nostalgia it gave me to see him like that, just like how my mother had so many times. It was why I avoided parties, seeing kids ruin their lives so easily with a pill.

But it was common...

"Is Ema alright?" I paused when Mr. White approached me at the end of class.

"Oh, yeah, he's just been overworked..." I nodded, to which he frowned.

"Poor kid, tell him I wish him well." He waved me off, and I left the classroom with a wave. So it wasn't just me who had noticed his lack of presence...

I was thankful for the rest of the classes, focusing on anything other than Ema. Keeping my worries throughout the day, but when Jane asked me what was going on, I cracked a little, sitting on his bed as I spilled all my worries and stresses. After spilling my guts laying on my back with a deep breath, "pardon, I was holding in a lot."

"I don't mind, Skyler." Jane sat next to me, "I'll help you keep an eye on Ema... But I think he just needs to feel reassured and supported. And as for your feelings for him... don't fully give up. He clearly cares, he's just in a mess and needs to get out before he can face you."

"I don't know. But for now... I'll just make sure he isn't fucking mopped or hurt. Whoever this person is sucks at caring." I ran a hand through my hair, "thank you for hearing me out."

"Of course, Skyler." He smiled, and I closed my eyes, trying to build up the courage to return to the dorm.

And when I did make my way back, I found Ema still in bed, the blankets over his head. So with a sigh I put on some jazz, sitting to answer texts from my parents and Cameron, constantly looking back at Ema throughout the time, and after getting ready for bed, I set a glass of water on his desk.

"Goodnight." I sighed, getting into bed myself.