One is Rust the Other is Gold

15: Don't Blame Me

The large windows framing my apartment balcony spilled late afternoon sun across the papers lying haphazard on my living room coffee table. I sat on the floor in my empty apartment rubbing my eyes, drained after finishing university applications. I closed my laptop with a sigh and turned to the phone propped up by my schoolbooks.

"How did studying go?" Joel asked on the video chat. He appeared freshly showered and his movements suggested he was folding laundry. "Was Narancia able to focus?"

I reached my arms high above my head, enjoying the warm stretch flooding my stiff muscles and joints. Deadlines didn't care about the reasons I had fallen behind in my studies, and I was determined to catch up on lost time. After days of burying myself in schoolwork and applications, I was happy for the distraction of a phone call. "At first, Narancia wanted to talk about anything other than school, but the peer pressure of seeing everyone else studying bored her so much, she cracked open a book. Refusing to talk to her or share our snacks until she had finished at least one homework assignment worked like a charm," I said. "How did hunting go with your mom last night?"

"Unsurprisingly, we found nothing. I tried to convince mom to let you come with us again, but she ignores me and changes the subject whenever I bring you up."

"I'm glad you're able to spend more time with your mom alone, though," I smiled, thinking about the two healing the many years of a rocky and distant relationship. My own mom's face entered my mind and I bit my lip as a distraction from the pang in my chest.

"Mom mentioned she'd be leaving for Africa soon. A concerning number of seals along the coast of Namibia are getting tangled in discarded fishing equipment, ending up hurt or dead. She wants to study how bad the problem is and help find a solution there and for similar problems in other countries. She said she's spent too much of her vacation time in Italy."

My mouth was suddenly dry. "How soon does she leave?"

"Within the week." Joel stopped what he was doing and frowned, his full attention on his phone.

My chest tightened but my face remained neutral. "Are you leaving, too?"

"I was thinking about sticking around a few more weeks to tour some university campuses," His tone told me his mom probably didn't approve. "How are your applications going? Maybe we can tour some universities together."

I realized how stiff my shoulders were and dropped them in relief. So, he was staying. "I started filling out applications today. I'd love to tour unis with you."

"Were you worried I was going to leave Italy?" he had that flirty teasing tone again.

"Yes," I said and he laughed at my immediate, blunt answer. "If you leave, it might be a while until we can see each other again." I enjoyed the warmth of the sun falling on my arm and its comfort spread through the rest of my body. This feeling was getting stronger by the day. I wasn't sure how to handle it since it wasn't something I'd experienced before. I could still hear Narancia's teasing voice 'Someone has a crush!' from yesterday's study period when I smiled a little too stupidly when mentioning Joel.

"Do you need to do more schoolwork tonight?" he asked.

Even if I did, I was ready to drop everything if he wanted to go out. "No. It's been nonstop studying for days and I need a break before I get back to it tomorrow."

"We could have our aquarium date if you're not too tired."

Right, he had mentioned it a few days ago, but I had to put it off in favor of catching up on my studies. "I was tired before you called, but I'm not so much anymore."