His Forgotten Ex- Wife

Chapter 13

Amelia

My heart beat erratically against my ribs. His eyes stared into mine as if they looked through my lies, and saw that I had been hiding the truth all along. For a second all I could imagine was him hating me for my past. I blinked a few times to move the thought out of my mind. No one could ever know the truth.

"I wish I knew for sure," I sighed closing my eyes. A lone tear escaped my eye. I don't know how it looked to him but deep down I was scared. Scared what the future held, feared how my past could just destroy me.

"The face is a blur but that voice sounded so like him," I added before opening my eyes and looking at him. I saw the pity in those eyes as he heard me. I knew he believed in the lies I told him, I fed him and it was so wrong of me to do something like this but what choice I had? Would anyone dare to even like me or show me an ounce of respect if they knew my past? Evenj though I was the victim I was painted a whore by them, a gold digger they had called was hated by all.

"Maybe I could be wrong or maybe not," I kept him in blurred waters. Neither too close not too far. My eyes turned towards my feet as I looked at the branded shoes I wore. Would had I been able to afford them if I hadn't done what I did? Would I even have survived if I hadn't lied?

"Is it bad of me to say that I don't want to remember who I was," the words barely over a whisper left my lips. I played the part to keep my lies a lie. Deep down I wanted my lie to be true. I had even prayed in my worst times to make my lies become my reality.

Wouldn't forgetting this all be bliss? all the suffering I went through disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Would it be crazy for me to look for ways to forget it all so I could really say that I started a new life? The anguish and misery I carried ended, and vanished in a blink of an eye. What could I do to forget it all? What wouldn't I give to not to remember at all? Even sell my soul to the demon just not to remember.

"It isn't?" Lucien's words halted my train of thought.

"Sometimes it could be all you want," Lucien spoke with a distant look in his eyes. Maybe he too was being chased by his demons like I was. However, mine seemed to be close to me, almost chasing me down and haunting me. 

"I'm sorry about all of this, " the voice drew my attention. I held my breath thinking that I would have to see Heath again. I felt relieved to see that it was only her.

"I never got your name, " Lucien beat me to ask. Who she was had this gnawing curiosity inside of me. Once again I sat there I raked my mind trying to remember if had I seen her anywhere but my memory turned up blank. I had only met a handful of people in my marriage even though I had seen too many pictures of the grand family I had married into. The image of Daniel's face crossed though my mind and I almost felt an old wound being ripped again.

"Oh forgive me, I'm Sasha Pierce," she introduced as I looked at her with trying to breathe normally.

"I'm Heath's fiance," she added with a smile. My eyes just stared at her wondering whether should she know all the nitty gritty details of Heath's past. I was ripping apart from the inside of my mind. My thoughts made me a victim of my past. I took in deep breaths as much as I could without being noticed. I needed to break free. I needed to escape, hide from them, hide from my past from anything that reminded me of them.

I knew I was panicking. Deep down I was scared to have a panic attack in front of these people. Especially someone who was connected to the  family. I could never become vulnerable in front of them. The old me had died and I needed to remember that.

"You all right Amelia," she asked Sasha asked almost making me jump.

"Yeah," I replied as fast as I could almost afraid that she would know. A woman always knew yet I had been blind to see the true intentions of another.