His Forgotten Ex- Wife

Chapter 19

Amelia 

I looked at the piece of sketches in front of me. My hands were dark from the residues of the pencils but I didn't mind the mess I was creating. I needed work more than the air I breathed. To keep myself busy, to keep my mind occupied.

I had no idea why but my mind had been moving to the dark places as the memories of the past were calling me to come and be miserable. I was trying so hard to forget the past that I was losing myself. The sketches were a great mess I could see in the art I had been trying to create for the last two days.

I concentrated on the new consignment that Karl talked about. He wanted some new pieces. He would have given it to one of the team that worked for him but I just asked him to give it to me. He had looked at me confusingly before agreeing to it. He hadn't asked me the reason why. I was just glad that he hadn't but I needed it and maybe I thought trying to get away from Sasha's piece would help me get back to normal. Just the thought of her name had me close my eyes shut. She was an amazing woman, I had nothing against her but every time I thought about her all I could see was Heath and after that, it was all about the pain of the past.

I wanted to escape my past more than I wanted to breathe. Forget about even knowing them or the girl I was. The music blasting from the speakers did nothing to stop my mind from overthinking at all. Resting my elbows on one of the tables I put my eyes over my palms. I needed to just stop thinking about all the past. I needed to let it all go.

It was only the presence of Karl that soothed me down. God, I wanted him beside me because somehow he made me forget about the past and made me wonder about the future. I looked forward to breakfast and dinner every day. His company pushed the dark past right out of my mind. He talked to me, the interest he showed me, and the way everything seemed so normal with him made me just feel better.

She came onto me. A whisper of Heath's word made it past the memories I had kept them hidden making me almost jump away from the table.

"Fuck," I cursed as I looked around me taking deep breaths. I knew that it was getting out of my hand. The past was haunting me it was affecting my present playing with my mind.

I don't care for that fucking child. It's not even my blood to begin with.  I felt the breath knocked out of me as the words echoed in my mind. "No," I shrieked in pain holding on to the edge of the table and taking deep breaths. I couldn't let my mind wander there. It was the darkest place in my life. So dark that I had wanted to kill myself. The guilt, pain, and remorse would eat me away if I started remembering that. 

Maybe I should see someone for it. The thought put my stomach in knots and relieved me simultaneously. Telling about the past would be as good as reliving it, telling someone all the secrets and lies that I have kept all to myself but at the same time having it all on my chest will help me.

The ringing of the bell had me snap out of my thoughts. I looked up at the time it was just in the afternoon.

Maybe Karl had decided to come home early. I felt myself take a look at the time. It was just somewhere after lunch. God I hadn't even had lunch. Disconnecting the music from the phone I walked out of the studio. Karl usually had the key to the house but yeah he did forget that at times.

I felt myself being happy just to know that he was here. At least with him, the incessant overthinking would come to my mind. Walking towards the door I just looked at my hands they were all dark. In the pristine white house, I wasn't afraid to get the house a little dirty. Karl has always said that it always had a character to the house. I just shook my head at his words. Yet I rubbed my head against the dark jeggings I wore.