Chapter 22

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Amelia

I hummed along to the lyrics of Lana Del Rey's Cinnamon Girl moving with the tune. I always loved the words. It was the lyrics that drew me in, that got to me. When I was young I used to make fun of the fact that anyone could sway me with a few words, a poem a sonnet, or even a book could make me fall in love with anyone.

"How could you do this to me, Amelia?" I heard the painful cry of Daniel. My heart ached for him. I sat there on my knees on the other side of the door pleading with him as I heard the noise of shattering glasses from the other end. He had locked me out of our room. He was raging mad.

"Please just listen to me," I shouted at the top of my lungs as tears rolled down my cheeks. "He is lying Daniel. I'm not anything he says." I sobbed.

"You are the only man I have ever loved and been with. I would never betray you like the way you are assuming," I tried to reason to explain to him that what he saw in that room wasn't the reality. What Heath was saying was all lies?

"Lies," he shrieked out as I heard the sound of something hitting the door with full force making me jump. "You are lying to me through your teeth," he raged out. I was scared for him. It was him who I worried about. He could hurt himself. He could cause damage to himself and it made me feel scared to the depths.

We both were hurting when no one of us was to be blamed.

"Just .. please hear me...out, Daniel," my lips trembled as I sobbed beating the door for him to just hear me once. "Please," I begged my fist beating against the wooden door. "I swe...ar on my life.. tha.t I had done ...nothing of what he ...i s saying." I pleaded to him to just hear me out. Another crash on the door made my heart swell with fear for him. He was my everything. My light, my hope my only reason to live. He was an anchor for my life.

"You were in his room!" he screamed out. "On the bed with him behind you naked!" he was shouting at the top of his lungs. "I can't even fucking speak what he was doing, what you both were doing. Fuck!"

"No, plea...se, just hear me out," I wept. "Please what you saw and heard ... was his scheming,"

"Shut up!" he roared. "You are a fucking liar," another shattering sound behind the door makes me jump back. He was hurt but so was I. God I was breaking from the inside, my heart ripping to shreds. The only person I loved was hurting himself and me too. I just wanted him to hear my side too.

"Please... just hear.. me once," my eyes hurt, my soul ached everything hurt. "I  have only eyes for you," I hiccupped. "It has always..s been you."  I pleaded banging on the door each word hurting and tearing me apart. The door locked from the inside felt like a jail to me. The crashing sound continued and I died with every crash that I heard. It killed me, the glass shards that crashed inside stabbed me in the heart.

What had I done to deserve it?

Tears were rolling down my eyes. Looking around I touched the table reminding myself that I wasn't in the past anymore. I was in my new life. No one could hurt me like that again. The pain that ripped me to shreds was a memory of the past, not the present. I wiped away my tears and changed to another song. This time to Constellations by Jade Lemac.

I didn't want to think about the past. I was running away from it as far as I could.

 Even after all that had happened, I was still the same when it came to music. Words were the essence of my soul, it was a path to whatever was left of my heart.

Looking back at the table I looked at the sketches for Karl's pieces. Five sketches each one different from another and filled with delicate designs that called to me. Each second I worked on them I felt relieved as myself. They were a necessity for me because I had to divert my mind from Sasha's project. What she wanted was great and beautiful. It was my type of project but the knowledge that I was creating a piece for a man who had harrassed me didn't sit well with me. It made me want to puke my guts out.

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