Leonardo Dicaprio Imagines

He was my first I was his last (not really)

Your (p.o.v.)
This is my first boyfriend, and I never thought that the breakup would be so hard . This is the first guy I've ever loved and the first guy I've ever felt comfortable with my entire life. Things got uneventful. Towards the end of our relationship. I didn't think anything of it because I know he was busy working, and you know things get hard and as long as we communicate. I like to think that possibly I'll be the last girl he'll ever be with because he said I was probably the best girl he's ever been with. But you know some people just blow hot air and don't really mean what they say or even do what they mean.

 But it's been hard. My heart is broken, and I look at pictures and it feels like a heavyweight on my chest constantly. Things seem to be unsatisfying anymore and it's weird being alone. I don't like being alone. But it seems like now that he's alone he's been accomplishing things he's been wanting to do for the past couple months. It seems like since we broke up it's been good for him and easy on him in reality for me. It's been the opposite. I like to think he's miserable and sad and wants to be with me. Why? because that's how I feel and if he feels that way that means it was real. But maybe it wasn't real. Sometimes I don't think it was. I wanted him to be the one so bad. I wanted to be his last of everything. We talked about a future even having kids getting married and moving.

 But that was him just thinking about his future not really about us. I felt like I had to push things down inside my soul in order to not freak him out or for him to not get overwhelmed. I tried my best to be mature despite my age. I tried to swallow my words when all I wanted to do was scream at him so it can click in his brain about how I felt. I tried doing the things he liked doing even though I hated it. But sometimes when you try doesn't mean it's going to work or make things better. Just because someone makes promises doesn't mean they will keep them. But I guess promises are meant to be broken right? Even if you give your whole body and soul to someone, they will crush it simply because they feel like they can't continue the relationship. They won't try to fix things or mend things.

 They will end it before it gets too hurtful. But damage has been already done and all you can do is try to mend your soul back together and take the pieces they stole when you gave yourself to them. I wish I can wake up and just feel better and not hurt by this whole thing. But it takes time, right? What if I don't want to waste months trying to get over someone who stole already months for me when I was with them. I'm not a robot but sometimes I wish I was.