Honeymoon phase

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Your (p.o.v.)
How do I possibly fight for his attention? When I tell him things, and it doesn't seem to click, our relationship was great at first many adventures, going out and having fun finally having someone you love to share the things that you love, but he started to get quiet. He started not to try almost giving up just because he's with you he doesn't feel like he has to put effort. It even seems like when he's around you like he doesn't want to be around you at all you feel super unwanted and out of place when you go to his house.

 A place of felt like a second home now feels like a strange place in your mind. You just wish he showed you the attention he showed you at first you just wish he said he loved you and that he missed you and when he used to call you every single day to check up on you and see how you were doing, but I guess that's what they mean when they say the honeymoon phase. Things start to end quickly before they even start. So, you're thinking do you keep being with him and seeing if things change or do you break up with him before you could possibly have a future with him? These thoughts keep tearing inside my head. He was the only man that you actually ever loved and felt like you didn't want to be with anyone else when you were around him. I guess that's what love is right when you only care about one person in a romantic way, and you don't want to be with anyone else but this person for the rest of your life. It did freak me out a bit because I've never felt strongly about someone, and I never thought I could.

 I always was saying growing up that I would never get married. I will never settle, and I will just be the aunt who travels who takes care of the kids or it goes on crazy amazing adventures. But this guy that you finally actually like started to show you a tremendous amount of attention making things seem great when in reality, the free trial ended. Once he got what he wanted, he stops putting effort. I see people who are married for years still have that beautiful spark called love no matter how long it's been since they been with the person or how far they are from each other, their love, flame never goes out.

 I feel like his flame went out. How do I spark it back? I've been trying I've been buying him things here and there and I even gave him something for anniversary. But that seem to do nothing. It just seems like I'm a distraction towards him, instead of someone who empowers him and brings him up in his darkest days it seems like I'm someone who distraction from things that seem super important to him at the time. Which you understand he does need to get things done. But also, can he balance his personal life and your relationship? That's what I've been doing. I've been balancing both, but I guess not everyone could do that. I feel like I'm losing him, or did I really lose him?

 Or did I just date someone I never really knew? All these questions keep racing in my mind. The man I'm with, isn't the man I've known. The guy who's giving me the lack of attention, saying that everything's all right when things aren't that is the man that he is. The man I first met was just a façade he put up or maybe it is he truly is. But he's going through so much that he's kind of losing that part of himself. I'm not even sure what to think anymore. This is all super confusing for me. I just miss him, but I don't think he really misses me.

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