(oh boy here we go again)
The Devil appeared at the docks of a faraway isle. The boat-man on the dock beside him pulled his hood over his face in fear. The Devil smiled seeing the man's fear knowing he would easily be able to take advantage of it, but decided to get what he came for over with. The Devil went up the stairs and into the small village.
"EXTRY! EXTRY! CHEF SALTBAKER AWARDED BEST BAKER IN ALL THE LANDS!" A young cat holding up newspapers yelled.
The Devil went over to the boy and just stood there, menacingly, before ripping up the papers and tossing them in the nearby waters.
"Oi, what's your problem?"
"You mean what's YOUR problem. And the answer to that would be me, I'm your problem."
"What's that supposed to mean?
"You're about to find out." The Devil took the young cat by the legs and threw him into the water. (this scene is dreadfully unfunny honestly)
"Now, where could that chef be?" The Devil said as an intoxicating aroma filled his lungs. The Devil followed the smell, seeing that it led to the nearby bakery.
"I should have known that smell smelt like the delicious souls of the damned with the addition of strawberry filling." The Devil chuckled, licking his lips with a snake-like tongue.
Upon opening the door, a small bell jingled and a rather plump salt shaker man turned to welcome his customer.
"Why, hello there! Welcome to my bakery!" The jolly salt shaker said with a deep voice.
"Yes, hello-?" The Devil paused and looked at the salt shaker waiting for his name.
"Oh, my name is Saltbaker! And you are?"
"Well, a ton of people know me. They call me the Old Scratch, Mr. S, the King of the Underworld, but I commonly go by the DEVIL himself." The Devil said, trying to empathize the evil part.
"Well then, Mr. S, would you like something delicious?"
"I will eat your delicious soul if you patronize me again. But, yes, I would like that there glazed donut, please."
"Will do! Just a sec!" The chef took a napkin and delicately took out the donut as if it were his own kid. (I mean technically it is because he made it.)
"Thank you." The Devil said, digging in his pocket for a couple coins and handing them to the salt shaker.
"No problem! Have a great day!"
"WAIT!" The Devil said, holding up his hand. He quickly shoved the donut in his mouth and licked the sweet glaze off his fingers.
"Are you evil?"
"What? No! The most evil thing I've ever done is burn Ramen." (we all know that's not true) The chef chuckled as the Devil stared at him in confusion.
"Is something the matter?" Saltbaker said, noticing the demon's confusion.
"I just...ugh. Whatever." The Devil then turned to leave.
"Uh, okay then! Have a sweet day!"
"Have the day you deserve."
------------------------*BACK IN HELL*------------------------
"STICKLER, YOU LIAR!" The Devil screamed before looking around to see no Stickler. He teleported once again to see Stickler sipping on some coffee.
"I do not pay you to sit around and drink coffee as black as my soul, Stickler. Put it down."
"Sorry, sir. But Henchmen here insisted I take a small intermission in the middle of my meeting."
"Hi, boss!" Henchmen, who was nibbling on a cookie, waved at the Devil.
"How was the trip, sir?" Asked Stickler, sipping his coffee quite loudly.
"Put the coffee down so I can actually hear my thoughts and then I'll tell you."
"Yea, Stickler. Coffee is for closers." Henchmen glared at Stickler.
"The trip was fine, I guess. But, get this, he's not at all evil! I walked in and the only evil thing he did was trick me into buying a glazed donut."
"And you said you just walked in?"
"No, I bear crawled on his ceiling. OF COURSE I WALKED IN, YOU IDIOT!"
"No, like you ordered a donut?"
"No, I ordered a burger from a bakery."
"Wait, you did?" Asked Henchmen stupidly.
"NO! YOU INCOMPETENT FOOLS!"
"Sir, with all due respect, you're the Devil and you ordered a glazed donut instead of just killing him to get the top of the most evil people of all of the Inkwell Isles, otherwise known as Monthly Chart of Evil, or MCoE for short."
"For the love of my sanity, would you please stop saying that? I'm sure there are more people than just me who are getting annoyed with your stupid little voice going off and on about-"
Henchmen paused.
"You know what? I think I need another cookie. Buh-bye." Henchmen left, and the Devil took a few moments to calm down.
"Stickler, I think you misunderstand. That chef is NOT evil in any way, shape, or form."
"You don't know that."
"What do you mean? I literally met the guy like thirty minutes ago."
"You didn't look deep enough."
"I'm still not understanding."
"You can't judge a book by its cover."
"Can you stop with the philosophies and crap and just get to the point?"
"Fine. You need to perturb the man. Make him annoyed. Make him angry. Make him show his true colors."
"Easy enough. I'll just bring you with me. You're good at annoying people."
"As much as I would like to assist you, sir, I must go forward with the meeting."
"Wow, you're just gonna abandon me and leave me for the wolves, Stickler. No, it's okay. I'll be fine. You go ahead with your life as I suffer with mine." The Devil said dramatically before leaving.
"Gladly, sir. Thank you."
(I did not plan for this series thing to be so long. I wanted this to be the last part but I didn't want to rush it. Hopefully part 3 is the last. BTW Saltbaker=Gordon Ramsay.)
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Cuphead Characters in Short Shenanigans!
FanfictionCuphead characters in random scenarios I put them in!
