all along

chapter 34

Yara

I just got home and I'm smiling softly. "Are you in pain?" He asks and I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know, it feels weird," I tell him and rub over my belly. Martijn is here, but he will leave at the end of this month for his shows.

"So you're not in pain?" He asks me and I nod. "Almost 40 weeks," I say and he nods, "you want to eat something? What should I prepare?" He asks me. "Italian?" I ask and he smiles softly. He's starting to cook and I keep on rubbing over my belly, I don't feel nothing like something is going to happen. I just had my last check up before I will probably give birth, the gynecologist said everything looked good and I just had to wait. So we're going to wait. I'll smile softly and just look at Martijn cooking for us, I didn't even asked him to stay here, I didn't ask him to come along with me to the ultra sound.

"Maybe this weird for me to ask you but uhm did you thought about giving birth?" He asks me and I look at him, I'm kinda confused. "What do you mean, and no it's not weird," I say. "I try to say in what way do you want to give birth?" He asks me and he stands there with a glass water, leaning onto the wall. Why is that kinda sexy? "I think, I don't know," I say and he looks at me. "They're lot of options, right?" He asks me and I nod, "yeah hospital, at home, onto bed or in bathtub," I say and I don't know what to choose honestly. He walks back to the stove and is focusing on cooking. It is acutely quite sexy, quite attractive.

After a while he comes with two dishes. "Oh so delicious, thank you," I chuckle and give him a kiss on his cheek. "You deserve it," he smiles and sits down next to me, we're eating our dinner and we're watching a kind of dumb serie, "but in what way you want to give birth. You need to know right?" He asks me and I nod, "I think, I've heard a lot about bathtub and I think I just want to do it at home," I say, "in a comfortable place." "I get it. I totally get it," he understands me and I smile softly. "You said I should wait on the hallway when you will give birth, should I still be doing this?" He asks me and I chuckle. "No crazy frog. You can stay" I say and go through his hair. "Crazy frog, what the fuck," he laughs and shakes his head. He kisses me softly and I hug him.

"What do you think?" I ask him, "it's crazy. You're becoming a mom, it's weird to imagine it, I remember the days were we kids playing around," he chuckles and I smile softly. "I'm so happy you're here for me" I say and Martijn wraps his arms around me, "of course," he kisses my forehead, "I'll be there like I said." "I'm still scared for this birth," I say and he keeps on rubbing over my belly. "For what are scared for?" He asks. "Something traumatic. People say birth is and can be very traumatic so I just hope it's not going to end up like that," I say quite fistful. "Hey, you will be okay. You're going to give birth and be a beautiful mommy," he compliments me. I smile and I just love the words he uses for me to comfort me.

"Do you have a shit ready?" He asks me. "No," I say and he chuckling. "If you want a bathtub, I can get one tomorrow, or we can hire one," he suggests and I look him in the eye. How sweet he is. "Hire one," I say and he nods, "let me find one," he says and look up to his phone. "I already have clothes," I say and he nods. "This baby girl has more clothes than a normal woman, just like you, with a huge ass closet," he laughs and I chuckle. I just received a lot of clothes from families and friends.

"Here I found one, it's quite huge, if I'm hiring it for few days," he says and I nod. I smile softly and look along with him on his phone. "Your belly is huge though," he says and rubs it. "What did you expect?" I chuckle and rub over his cheek. He's so estranged to this whole thing. "There's a baby growing inside of me," I say and he nods. "I know, I mean I don't know how it feels," he mutters and I bite on my lip.

"You're very cute you know," he compliments me and I look away, my cheeks are blushing and he let me face him instead. "I mean it. You're cute," he repeats again and kisses my lips softly. I put my hand on his cheek and his hand is on my belly, rubbing it softly. "Your belly is hard," he notices and I look at it too. I shrug my shoulders and martijn looks at me. "I love you," he smiles at me. "I love you too," I say and we kiss again. Our kiss turns into something bit more passionate, gentle and loving. "Oh my god," I whisper and he bites on my lip. "Open your mouth," he whispers and I chuckle, our tongues connect. It's a bit more passionate and bit more loving. It all turned in something like love. "I'm loving this moment," I say and he smiles. "Metoo," he whispers before he touches my lips. "I love you, I love you so much," he exclaims and hugs me.

We're laying here on the couch, his arms are both wrapped around me, like he's protecting me and the baby. He's asleep, he barely has slept probably and I'm becoming sleepy as well. Slowly my eyes close and I fell asleep peacefully.