- the hunger games fanfiction
୭ - (v.) star of the sky
- It was no secret to anyone the passion that Hilarius Heavensbee had for Eyana Astrea; it was a passion that had been going on for years and that burned in the boy's veins, so when he saw an o...
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UNFORTUNATELY FOR HILARIUS, he wasn't able to sit alongside Eyana at the funeral.
The Astrea girl noticed the useless and almost desperate attempts he made to sit next to her, and that couldn't help but make her a little uncomfortable. Although the attention was a tempting thing, she felt that it was too dangerous for her.
Not because it was bad, but because it was so inviting that it almost made her abandon the logic and precision she was used to.
She also didn't know how to deal with attention in a healthy way. The only attention Eyana witnessed was negative and critical, designed to bring her down through false criticism and expectations. Despite knowing that Hilarius only wanted to offer her good things, she couldn't help but feel intimidated and afraid of the disappointment that seemed to follow everything he brought into her life. Consequently, she could not allow herself to be consumed by it.
Right now, she couldn't bring herself to talk to him or be too close. The way she had acted the previous day left her feeling ashamed, and the thought of facing him made her cringe. She needed to keep her distance, at least until she could come to terms with her embarrassment.
These recent days had been a tumultuous period of emotions for Eyana, and having someone bear witness to her inner struggles only heightened her discomfort. The vulnerability she experienced in his presence was overwhelming, leaving her feeling raw and exposed in ways she struggled to comprehend. Eyana believed in the possibility of self-restoration, albeit a slow process, and she eagerly awaited the moment when she could regain her composure.
Nonetheless, her father's presence in the room provided her with the strength to avoid breaking down once more. Damian believed that displaying emotions like crying or showing anything other than pure indifference was a sign of weakness, a trait he detested demonstrating, whether it was positive or negative emotion.
During the funeral, Eyana's gaze lingered on her father across the room, observing his proud stance and the visible disdain on his face as Dr. Gaul entered.
However, what intrigued her most was the way he instinctively enveloped Haakon, her brother, in a protective embrace. Despite the solemnity of the occasion, Haakon appeared surprisingly buoyant, further fueling her sense of jealousy at the tender bond between father and son that had not been diminished by the war and seemed to elude her.
As she observed the scene, a sense of injustice enveloped her. It was she who had lost someone; she was suffering, so why was it Haakon who received the touch and tenderness of their father while she was left on the sidelines? Why was it she who received only a warning, a concern that, though possibly genuine, seemed forced?
Why didn't her own father offer the comfort she longed for, breaking through the barrier of superficiality and truly connecting with her pain?
She didn't understand that, and honestly, she preferred not to get into sentimental matters at that point. The funeral was already being horribly exaggerated, and from the corner of her eye, she could see Arachne's parents leaning on each other with a sad and uncomfortable expression, and Arachne's older brother seemed to share the same sentiment, which made her think that this was most likely not what they had in mind for their youngest daughter's funeral.
