Roommates | Solby Smut

15. 30 Days

TW: Talks of suicide and SH

Colby's POV

Day 1 in this place. I already miss Sam and want to be out so bad, but I know this is what is best for me. They took me from my room early in the morning and wheeled me down to the treatment wing. They gave me a pair of sweatpants, with no string in them, a white shirt, and some slip on shoes. They provided a crew neck sweater in the room if I needed it. Everything was basically child proof and anti kill your self proof. I couldn't help but laugh at all of this. This was ridiculous but I was going to do this for Sam no matter how stupid I felt it was. They finally let me walk for the first time in forever but they put a stupid ass bracelet on me that said "fall risk." Like what the fuck do I look 79. I guess you try to kill yourself one time and the whole world is worried about you. I can't help but chuckle at the dark humor that is pouring out of me right now.

I heard a knock on my door even though there is no lock so they could just come in. I turn and see a nurse at the door. "The doctor would like to see you for a one on one before group time. If you could follow me." I don't say anything and just follow her out the door. We walk past so many rooms. Some have people in them and some don't. We pass a common room with people reading, watching TV, playing games, and talking. I guess that is where I will be going after this meeting.

We walk a little while longer before I am lead into an office. There sits who I can only assume is a therapist or psychiatrist. He tells me to sit across from him and I do as he says.

"My name is Dr. Greene, but you can call me Fred," he extends his hand for me to shake. I shake it feeling very uncomfortable. My arms are exposed with all the bandages, and I feel like he is staring at them.

He clears his throat before he continues "You must be Cole Brock, but you prefer Colby. You were brought in from the ER for attempted suicide and self harm. Is that correct?"

"Yes sir." I say not looking up as I speak.

"It is nothing to be ashamed of Colby. We all do things we shouldn't in life but what matters is what you do after you do those stupid things. You are doing the right thing and taking the right steps now and that is all that matters. The here and now." I just nod because I have never had someone be some understanding. "So Colby, tell me what brought you here today. What caused you to do what you did?"

So, I tell him all of it. I start from the beginning with the crash all the way to party. I don't leave anything out. By the end I am crying and can't seem to catch my breath. He waits as I calm down before he speaks up.

"Colby you have been through a lot. You have dealt with a lot of trauma, sadness, and adversity in life. This is not going to be easy but if you work with me we can help you. I am going to give you this journal and I would like you to write in it everyday you are here. It can be a couple words or a lot as long as you just write what is on your mind. I will check it every couple of days. I would like to meet tomorrow to discuss the action plan for while you are here. For now, go ahead and head out to group time and introduce yourself to the others."

I thank him before heading out the door. A nurse leads me to the common room, and I just go ahead and head to a couch. I am not sure what to do so I just there and look out the window. I miss Sam so much. As I sit there I feel someone next to me and tap my shoulder. I turn my head to see a boy with bright blue hair sit down next to me. He just stares at me for a minute before he says "the names Jake. You must be the new guy. Colby, is it? I was going to ask what you are in for but from looking at the bandages I am going to make an educated guess and say you cut yourself and tried to kill yourself. Oh sorry am I talking to much my bad. I have bipolar disorder and manic depression. Doc says I am in a manic state right now. Anyway I will see you around I gotta go punch something." I don't even get the chance to say anything before he is walking away punching his stomach. What a strange kid. It wasn't long before we were told it is lunch time and that we needed to go to the cafeteria. The rest of the day was spent in the cafeteria, group therapy, arts and crafts, and common room. After dinner we finally were able to go back to our rooms. I guess it was time to write something down in the journal just to say I did.

Day 1

Dear me? I guess I don't know,

I have never done this before, and I don't know what to do. Well today was my first day at a treatment facility. Maybe they can help me get better. Who knows? Doctor Greene, or Fred, he is nice, and I like him. I think he will help me. I meet some boy named Jake. He was a little strange, but I guess I am in a looney bin. I miss Sam so much. I never knew you could miss someone so much until I met him. I am not sure how writing in this thing is supposed to help me, but I will do it because I was told to. I wonder what the doctor will say tomorrow.

I think that is all I can think about so I guess I will end this.

Colby

I shut the journal and go over and get into bed. This is going to be a long 30 days.

Sam's POV

Day 1 and I already feel like I might go mad without Colby here. It is weird being in the dorm without him. I have no one to walk to class with. I just miss him so much. I sleep in his room, wear his clothes everyday, and don't do anything except go to class. I just want this month to be over.

The Next Day

Colby's POV

I wake up to a gently tap on my door as the same nurse from yesterday walks into my room. She says I have therapy again in 15 minutes if I wanted to get ready. I got ready quickly and made my way down to the same office as yesterday.

I sit in the same spot as yesterday and grab the pillow off the seat. I hug it and put my feet on the seat. The doctor walks in not long after me and we say our hellos.

"Did you write last night?" He asks me I nod my head yes and he takes some notes. "How did writing make you feel? Do you think it helped?"

"I am not sure. It was weird and I didn't know what to write about. Maybe it will take some time to figure out what to write."

The doctor puts down his pen and looks at me while he says "there isn't a right or wrong thing to write. You may want to write about your feelings one day, the next you may just talk about your day, maybe you will write some poetry or songs. You write whatever you feel like." I just say okay to this as we talk more about why I ended up here and what I plan on doing to help myself as I am here.

About an hour later we end the session with him explaining what he thinks is going on with me and what the course of action will be.

"So Colby from everything you have told me, as well as your files I believe you have PTSD, and Manic Depression. I think starting you on some anti-depressants as well as the therapy should help both of these. I will get the medication down to the pharmacy and you will start taking them at lunch today. Continue to write and continue to keep opening yourself up. I think you will make great progress in here." I nod and leave the room. I can't believe I actually got a diagnosis, and I am not just some crazy person. Well I am here so maybe I am a bit mad.

Mystery POV

I can't have him see me. I have to stay away from him. He can't know I am here. What would happen if he saw me? He looks good but why is he here? Did he do something to himself? Is he here because of me? I am interrupted by a voice behind me say "Zachary therapy." I turn and follow him out of the room trying to make sure I stay out of sight of lingering eyes.

Colby's POV

Day 2

Dear Self,

I had a weird dream last night about my ex-boyfriend. I had a dream he was alive and faked his death. Isn't that crazy? Anyway, I think therapy went really well and I am happy to hopefully have a treatment plan in front of me for the future. I miss Sam everyday. I hope I can call him soon. I just wanna hear his voice. Maybe I will get better at writing in this thing but for now that is all.

Colby

I put the journal down and get in bed. I was almost asleep when I swore, I heard a voice that sounded like my ex-boyfriends coming from the hallway. That's strange I thought as I dozed off to sleep with images of me back in Sam's arms floating through my head.