Ready for it? (Joost Klein)

14

Their mouths dropped. "Joost Klein?!"

I gesture for them to be quiet. "Shht. Don't be so loud."

"But wait ... how did this happen? And are you guys official?" Elena still seems in shock.

I shrug. " No, we're not official. We just kissed."

Kate's mouth falls open again. "When?"

I try to hold back my laughter. "This night."

Kate looks at me, at my bed and then back at me. "Oh my god! He slept here!"

"Kate, be quiet. Or Elio will hear you."

"Sorry but I can't help it. This news is just so..."

Elena looks dreamily ahead of her. "This is so romantic! But do you think it was a one night stand?"

I shake my head. "Guys, you don't understand. We didn't do anything outside of that one kiss. He showed me Amsterdam and that was it."

Elena nods. "I understand that but do you want it to be more?"

They both look at me. The first thing that comes to mind is yes, I want it to be more. But when I think further, it becomes more complicated than I thought.

He lives in another country, we both have busy jobs, and does he even want it to be more? Maybe it's done for him after the Eurovision Song Contest.                                                                    Maybe he likes me for now, these few weeks, and in a month no more.

I swallow. Suddenly I'm not so excited. Elena and Kate see it in me. "Hey, sorry we upset you. 

You guys need to take your time."

They give me a hug. "As long as he's good to you."

The rest of my day goes quickly. I also manage pretty well not to think about Joost. Until the pre-party, of course. Lucas, Kate, Elena and I arrive. Fans wave at us and want pictures with us. Interviewers wait to ask us questions.

I'm having the time of my life. Call me an attention seeker, but I love the thought that people like me, that they think I'm special and that I'm being filmed.

We stand for a long time talking to different interviewers. I try to make sure my friends have their say too. Every now and then I push them forward.

After a while, I go to where the other participants are. I go directly to Nemo and Marina. "Hey, Guys! Madrid already seems so long ago!"

They hug me in greeting.

"Livia, why do you always look so breathtakingly beautiful? What's your secret?" Marina looks at me from head to toe.

"Thank you, really! You're the sweetest person here."

"Hey, I'm standing right here next to you. I'm sweet too." Marina and I laugh at Nemo.

"In Madrid you left so quickly, was everything okay?", Nemo asks as we sit down somewhere. I shrug. "There was a weird creep who couldn't keep his hands to himself. I didn't feel much like partying after that."

Marina takes a sip of her drink. "Sometimes I want to shoot all the men in the world. A world with only women would be so much nicer! Imagine that."

A waiter comes and brings me a glass of wine. I thank him and raise my glass in the air. "Here's to a world with only women!"

We clink and sip from our glass.

Then I see Joost standing farther away. He is talking to Martinus. His eyes meet mine and a small smile appears on his face.

I look away from him. I still have the uncertain thoughts I had this morning. I wouldn't fall for someone who wasn't even serious about me.

I rejoin the conversation Marina and Nemo are having.

A while later, it's my turn to perform. I step onto the stage with my dancers. The audience cheers. The first notes of my song begin.

"Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him.                                                                                             Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted."

I get totally absorbed in the song and the 3 minutes fly by. I give a hug to Lucas, Kate and Elena as the stage applauds loudly.

I wave to the audience one more time and then walk off stage.

There, Joost is waiting for me. Elena and Kate give me encouraging looks and pull Lucas along with them. 

"You have no idea how impressed I am when I see you perform. You deserve to be on the biggest stages in the world."

I smile. "Exaggerator."

He takes a step toward me. "Is everything okay? You seem a little distant."

I look around to see if anyone is around. "I don't know, Joost. I mean, what's your take on us?"

"I think we make a really good team. And that I have the most fun with you than with anyone else."

Fun. 

"Only fun? For how long?"

He looks at me not understanding. "What do you mean? Livia, you know I'm crazy about you."

"I don't know Joost. Do I really?"

He swallows. "From whence does this come? Haven't you felt this night and the other days that I care about you?"

"I just don't know what your intention is with me."

"How can you not know? I fucking kissed you."

I look down. "Joost, can we really do this? We live in different countries."

"So... what? You want to pretend there's nothing between us because we don't live close to each other? Livia, in four hours I can be in Belgium with a car."

I look at him. "You don't have a driver's license."

He sighs and looks at me irritated. "I don't know what's wrong with you or why you're acting like this now. But I thought I was clear how serious I was about you."

I'm getting irritated now, too. "Joost, think about it. Do you want to have to drive 4 hours each time to see each other? We both have busy lives, is that even going to work for us?"

"I'm disappointed in you, Livia. You shouldn't focus on the negative things when there are solutions to them."

"I'm just being realistic. I mean, do we really know each other Joost?"

He no longer answers that. He shakes his head and steps away. I swallow and try not to cry.

This was it then, I guess.