It ties us together, but I've never been more afraid

Chapter 5: Why have you forsaken me?

Crawley stood on the edge of town. He was supposed to be tempting a man to sacrifice his daughter, but that was something that could wait for tomorrow. For now his body was hurting, in more than one way.

There was his normal pain, his knee and his hip and there was his soulmate's pain. He wasn't sure what his soulmate did on a day to day basis (part of him couldn't help but be astounded that his soulmate was immortal like he was.) But he did know his soulmate did lots of things that left them sore in their back and shoulders.

Put both of their pain together and Crawley's whole body ached on a daily basis. His soulmate at least seemed willing to try and take care of their body, Crawley couldn't bring himself to most days. Crawley couldn't even bring himself to do his assignments half the time.

Crawley began to walk out into the dessert a bit, simply just lost in his own thoughts. Plus if he kept moving he would have less of a chance to focus on the pain.

Why was his soulmate in so much pain all the time? He knew why he was in pain all the time, half of it was Hell's fault and half of it was his own. But what was his soulmate doing?

Was his soulmate a demon too? Were they in pain because they too had messed up, gotten themselves in trouble with Hell? Were they both suffering because they couldn't do their jobs right?

Was God the one who paired soulmates together? She had told them long ago about how soulmates would work, how they would feel each other's pain. She told them about how it was mostly something for humans, but angels would get soulmates too.

This was long before their the Fall, so Crawley never really found out what would happens with demons and their soulmates. Would they have to both be demons? Would one soulmate becoming one turn the other one? Did Crawley drag his soulmate down with him?

Crawley got distracted for a moment by the feeling of the pain in his back and shoulders diminishing slowly. His soulmate must be finally resting.

He continued walking along, thinking of too many things at once, when he felt a few drops of water. Looking up Crawley saw many storm clouds coming towards him. In his mind he had two options, either keep going forward and continue walking through the storm (though he had no true destination) or he could turn back and go back to town.

Going back to town was probably a good idea, it would be better for his pain and he wouldn't be soaked by the storm.

But when has Crawley ever gone with the "good" idea? Maybe a few thousand years ago he would've, but not now.

Crawley continued to go forward, bracing himself as he felt more and more rain start to come down. He didn't even know what he was accomplishing out here, but it was something. It had to be something.

Crawley's existence had to be for something.

Suddenly a sharp pain was sent through Crawley's back and shoulders. His soulmate had done something that required them to move quickly, bringing back the pain. It was still distant, but painful nonetheless.

Crawley took a deep breath, willing himself not to cry out, not because of the pain, he had dealt with worse before. But more so he was so tired of the pain. He had been tired of it since the Fall, and he wanted to stop being in pain.

"Why!" Crawley called out to no one. There was a distant rumble of thunder as the rain continued to pour. His clothes were soaked to the bone. "No seriously! Why?"

Crawley faced towards the sky, for a moment he wasn't sure why. After a moment the back of his head whispered it was because he wanted to talk to God. It wasn't like She was listening to him anymore, so what's the harm and talking to her.

"I did everything you asked! I did what I was told! I made a mistake of being around those people but I didn't deserve to fall!" Crawley screamed. The thunder rumbled back loudly. "If you want to be mad at me then fine! But I don't want to be in pain, I'm so tired of the pain! I will do whatever you want not to be in pain!"

Suddenly a lighting bolt came down, striking the ground only a few feet away from where Crawley was standing. It scared him enough that he fell, landing directly on his knees like he was in prayer.

Maybe he was.

"My soulmate doesn't deserve to feel this much pain either! They didn't do anything to deserve it! Why do they have to pay for my sins! Why do they have to pay for the mistakes I made? Causing me pain is causing them pain and they don't fucking deserve it!" Crawley screamed.

His throat felt scratchy and it hurt. This wasn't all uncommon, he did yell a lot of the time, but that was mostly at stupid people, not at God.

He didn't really talk to God anymore, other than now obviously.

"Please! Please God please!" Crawley screamed, but there was no more lighting, and the thunder didn't rumble. Crawley stared up at the sky, so angry that She couldn't even bother to listen anymore. "Fuck!" He screamed, punching the ground with his fist.

Granted he was only punching sand, but with all the rain it became a pretty decent solid.

After he was able to stop losing his shit, and stop crying for the most part, Crawley miracled himself back to the town and then miracled himself dry. He took a few deep breaths before turning to actually stepping into town for some sort of inn.

Assignment be damned he needed a fucking nap.

After finding an inn (and finding out the only bed available was in a room with someone else in it) Crawley made his way to hopefully get some nice rest. His body was stiff. The combination of his pain, which had intensified, and his soulmate's pain was too much.

He finally made it to the room and pushed open the door. The person on the other bed in the room sat up, and Crawley recognized the person, or should he say being, at once.

"Crawley?" Aziraphale asked with a tone of surprise.

"Aziraphale?" Crowley asked in return and he saw Aziraphale basically almost flinched at his voice. It was rather rough after screaming at God for a while. "What are you doing here?"

"Doing good of course. What are you doing here?" Aziraphale asked as Crawley turned to go towards the other bed. It was a struggle, but he slowly made his way over.

"Doing bad of course. But I'm in this room because it's the only other bed they have available." Crawley said as he sat down, trying not to irritate or hurt his body anymore. The rain didn't help with anything, and he should have turned around at the first sight of it. He was cursing himself for not doing better.

"Are you alright?" Aziraphale asked after a moment. Crawley didn't love the fact that the angel was here, mostly because he seemed to care for Crawley quite a bit, but rather the angel than a random human.

"Yep. Never better." Crawley tried to dismiss. Aziraphale gave him a look and Crawley almost wanted to laugh with how tough he was pretending to be. In the end he assumed there was nothing that could truly go wrong if he said something. "My soulmate is in rather a lot of pain and I am feeling it." He explained lightly.

"Ah yes, I feel the same." Aziraphale agreed and Crawley hummed, hoping this was the end of the conversation. When Aziraphale didn't say anything more Crawley laid down on the bed.

Even though the mattress was just made of straw it felt like a cloud once Crawley got settled. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He didn't hear anything else come from Aziraphale so he assumed Aziraphale was going to take a rest as well.

Crawley tried to think who Aziraphale's soulmate could be. In the times that they had run into each other Aziraphale truly didn't really complain of pain. So other than now he hadn't really heard about Aziraphale's soulmate at all.

That's if his soulmate was still alive.

Crawley peaked open his eyes for a moment and saw Aziraphale was laying down again. Aziraphale shifted himself, like there was pressure on his shoulders. Crawley didn't think much of it as he closed his eyes and truly went to sleep this time.

In the back of his distant mind he remembered God's words to Job "Can you send lightning bolts and get them to report back to you?"

Word count: 1500