It ties us together, but I've never been more afraid

Chapter 6: The Crucifixtion

Aziraphale found himself staring forward. He wanted to look away, but he couldn't. The feeling of guilt sat in his stomach and wasn't going away this time, not yet.

He hated hearing the loud slam of the hammer, and Jesus' cries each time the nails went deeper into him. A lot of Aziraphale wanted to look away, wanted to just start running off and not looking back. Other parts of Aziraphale wanted to run forward, to stop what they were doing and save Jesus.

He wanted to save the man who did not commit a crime but was forced to pay for it anyway.

But he knew this was part of God's plan, and he dare not defy Her. Even if it meant not helping someone who so clearly needed help.

Aziraphale shifted his weight after a few moments. For once his knee wasn't bothering him, so his soulmate must be doing something that's helping it. On the other hand his shoulder and upper back pain had become a chronic issue, and he definitely felt it now.

He wished he could go back to town already. He still hadn't found an inn for the night. Technically there wasn't anything stopping him, but he had a gut feeling that he shouldn't go anywhere quite yet.

"Father please. You have to forgive them. They don't know what they're doing." Jesus called and Aziraphale flinched slightly at the words, though he's not sure why he did.

Suddenly Aziraphale felt a presence next to him. He glanced over and saw Crawley standing there. Of course the demon would come to gloat about the death of the son of God.

"Come to smirk at the poor bugger, have you?" Aziraphale asked. His tone was a bit sharper than he intended, but the pain was really starting to get to him.

"Smirk? Me? Well, your lot put him up there." Crawley said. Aziraphale heard the echo of the hammer again and felt the guilt in his stomach deepen.

"I'm not consulted on policy decisions Crawley." Aziraphale said in the same tone as before. He noticed Crawley throw him a side glance.

"Oh, I've changed it." Crawley said. Aziraphale tried to think of what policy decisions he could change.

"Changed what?" Aziraphale asked.

"My name. Crawley just wasn't doing it for me. It's a bit too squirming at your feet ish." Crawley, well no longer Crawley, explained.

"Well, you were a snake." Aziraphale pointed out and  not Crawley tilted his head sideways in a way that said 'fair point'. "So what is it now? Mephistopheles? Asmodeus?" Aziraphale guessed.

"Crowley." Crowley said and Aziraphale pursed his lips.

"Hmm." Aziraphale hummed and they both stared forward. The hammer was still echoing, Jesus was still crying out. Aziraphale's eyes flickered over to Mary.

He understood God sent Jesus here for a reason, but did Mary have to watch her son die like this? Jesus was God's son as much as he was Mary's, but he doubted God was watching.

The guilt in his stomach grew with each of these thoughts. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as Crowley brought his hand to his stomach for a moment.

"Did you ever meet him?" Aziraphale asked after a moment.

"Yes. Seemed a very bright young man. I showed him all the kingdoms of the world." Crowley said and that took Aziraphale by surprise. He couldn't imagine a demon doing anything nice like that.

There was no sin in seeing what exists on this world, so why did Crowleys do it?

"Why?" Aziraphale asked before he had time to truly think the question over.