It ties us together, but I've never been more afraid

Chapter 20: The Confession

When Crowley walked into the bookshop Aziraphale was already pouring wine into two glasses. Crowley took a seat on the sofa while Aziraphale brought the glasses over. Once he had handed Crowley his glass Aziraphale grabbed a pillow from the other side of the sofa.

Crowley instinctively lifted his leg up and Aziraphale slid the pillow under his knee. Before Crowley could say anything, Aziraphale grabbed another pillow and took his seat on the arm chair, putting the pillow behind his back as he did. Crowley could feel the distant pain in his back go away a bit.

"You're one step ahead of me." Crowley commented as he took a sip of his wine.

"You're predictable." Aziraphale shrugged. He adjusted himself in the chair and turned to look at Crowley. "What was it you wanted to talk about?" He asked.

"I just- ngk- okay I want to talk about this and I'm not actually entirely sure how I want to do this, but still we need to talk about it." Crowley tried to explain. Aziraphale just looked at him with kindness and waited for Crowley to explain. "I know it's going to go against what I've said for years."

"Crowley." Aziraphale said, cutting Crowley off. "We both know what you're going to say."

"Right but Aziraphale-" Crowley started again. Aziraphale could feel distantly how quickly Crowley's heart was beating, so he cut him off.

"Do you remember back in 1872, when we were walking out of the graveyard?" Aziraphale asked, and Crowley paused. He was confused, but he nodded anyway, so Aziraphale continued. "You got snatched down to Hell, and I didn't see you for years afterwards."

"Right, I slept for a year and then you got busy with assignments." Crowley recalled.

"I wasn't busy with assignments, Crowley. That was when I put everything together. After you got dragged back down, I felt everything you did." Aziraphale said and Crowley's face fell, out of shock or realization, Aziraphale couldn't tell.

"Angel." Crowley said softly but Aziraphale shook his head.

"I'm quite alright dear boy. The point I am making here is, I already know." Aziraphale said softly and Crowley nodded.

"Alright." Crowley said shortly. He took a deep breath before speaking again. "I think I just need to say it."

"Go right ahead then dear." Aziraphale encouraged.

"You're my soulmate, I'm your soulmate, we're soulmates." Crowley said quickly. Aziraphale gave a small nod.

"Right we are." Aziraphale agreed before he took a sip of his own drink. Crowley followed suit but ended up finishing off his whole glass. Aziraphale grabbed the bottle and refilled Crowley's glass for him.

"Do you have anything else to say about it, other than just blind agreement?" Crowley asked after a moment of mostly silence.

"Well I tried to tell you this years ago, so I believe that you already know that I knew." Aziraphale reminded him, to which Crowley just gave a short sigh.

Aziraphale for a moment just sat there and sipped his drink. It hadn't fully hit him or Crowley yet that they finally both knew and were open about being soulmates. And Aziraphale was fine living in a world of bliss for just one more moment.

Crowley took off his sunglasses and set them on the side table. After taking a sip of his drink once more he spoke.

"I'm sorry." Crowley said shortly.

"For what?" Aziraphale asked, confused as to why Crowley was apologizing.

"For not being the soulmate you wanted, or maybe just for being your soulmate in general." Crowley said in a soft and low tone. He was staring down at his glass in his hands, like he was afraid to look Aziraphale in the eyes.