It ties us together, but I've never been more afraid

Chapter 17: Angry words

Crowley brought himself to the kitchen as he heard Aziraphale walk out to the living room behind him. He was very surprised he was able to convince the angel to spend one more night. It was the first time he got Aziraphale to spend the night when he wasn't completely drunk or passed out.

Aziraphale passing out after healing him had freaked Crowley out. For a little bit he thought that Heaven had done something to him for helping Crowley, for a brief moment he had wondered if Aziraphale had died, but he hadn't felt the pain of it so that thought was squashed rather quickly.

Crowley would never admit it to Aziraphale but he barely left his side when he was unconscious. He had lied to Aziraphale when he said he went to check on the book shop everyday, he had called one of his human contacts to check on it for him everyday. When the letter from Heaven arrived on the doorstep Crowley had him bring it to his flat.

The most time he spent away from Aziraphale was when he went to do the miracle Heaven had asked to be done, nothing too complex. And then he was back by Aziraphale's side.

Crowley had spent a lot of the time wondering if he should tell Aziraphale of his feelings the moment he woke up, or at least tell him that they were soulmates, but Aziraphale continued to deny it when he woke up. If Aziraphale didn't want to admit it, if he didn't want Crowley to know that he knew, then Crowley wasn't going to say anything.

The comment Aziraphale had made well over 500 years ago still stuck with him, but he tried to push that thought out of his mind as he grabbed a couple bottles of wine and a couple of glasses. He walked back out to the living room and saw Aziraphale had put the thermos lid back on, something Crowley had not done.

"May I ask you something?" Aziraphale asked as Crowley handed him a glass. Aziraphale ended up taking both bottles from Crowley as well so Crowley was able to hold onto his cane better. Crowley turned around, grabbed a pillow off of his arm chair like he had done all those years before, and turned back around. Aziraphale instinctively leaned forward so Crowley could slide the pillow behind him.

"Course." Crowley said as he turned back around yet again and sat down in his chair. Aziraphale miracled up a pillow himself and leaned forward enough so he could tuck it under Crowley's knee, which Crowley lifted up so he was able to.

"Why did you open it?" Aziraphale asked, and Crowley knew he was talking about the holy water.

"I just wanted to make sure it was actually holy water." Crowley shrugged as he miracled open a bottle and poured wine into both of their glasses.

"Did you not trust me to put actual holy water in there?" Aziraphale questioned, and Crowley could hear in his voice something odd, something that made it sound like he was hurt or even offended.

"No, of course not. I trust you it's just, I needed to be sure." Crowley tried to explain. "You wouldn't understand."

"And why do you think I won't understand?" Aziraphale asked and Crowley just shrugged. "I have known you for well over 6000 years Crowley, out of anyone I would understand." Aziraphale pointed out.

"I know it's just-" Crowley started. He cut himself off and he sighed. "It's complicated, Angel. But now I know."

"Yes now you know, but I would like to know that you're not going to open it again. I would like to know why you needed it in the first place, other than just your excuse of insurance." Aziraphale said before he sipped on his wine.

"One day I know Hell is going to come knocking on my door. I haven't exactly been doing everything they want me to, and I don't think that I always will. I don't know how that's going to go, but they'll definitely come for me at some point." Crowley explained.