Sold To Love

78. The Answer

Z E N I Y A H

"We are gathered here today in loving memory of our dear Avalyn Rosalee Nelson." I sat there in the front row of the church, bawling my eyes out, still not being able to fathom that my childhood best friend was really gone.

Forever.

Is this really happening?

This can't be real...

"Mami, yah go hurt the baby if you continue crying like this..." Giovanni whispered while rubbing my back. I guess, trying to comfort me, but it only caused me to cry even harder.

This must be a really bad dream.

Tedo's voice made way to my eyes, and I turned to look at him, being met by his sad face and bloodshot red eyes.

He looked nothing like himself, and I didn't expect him to. If anyone was hurting right now, it would be him. After all, he was the first one to see Avalyn after she took her life.

"Mi soon fawud..." He said with a hoarse voice. Gio and I nodded our heads at him, and I watched as he sauntered out of the church with his head hung low.

It was as if he walked into darkness.

I could no longer see anything.

"Zeniyah..." I heard somebody screaming my name. It almost sounded like Rebel's voice. But as the person continued calling my name and shaking me out of my "slumber," the voice got deeper and more clear, and I soon realized that it was Giovanni. I jolted up in bed, out of breath and a crying mess, and Gio pulled me into a warm embrace.

I suddenly felt disappointed when I realized that it was him.

Why?

It's been almost a month since we got the news that Rebel overdosed, and she has been in an induced coma ever since.

When we got to the hospital and saw Tedo, he said that doctors said that if he had not reached there the time that he did, there was a high chance that she would have actually died.

But now, it seems like she is infact dead because there seems to be no progress, and it pains me each time I go in her hospital room and see her in such a lifeless state, unresponsive.

Even the doctors seem to have lost hope, as much as they try to hide their doubt of her not making it from us, with reassuring smiles and encouraging words. I see right through their act.

And I know that Tedo does, too. On more than one occasion, I've seen him bracing himself whenever we wait on the doctors to tell us something.

It's as if he's waiting and preparing himself for the bad news.

I also overheard him crying to Gio one day.

He doesn't want to lose her, but he knows that he might, and that hurts him even more.

And..... In the midst of all this, Gio and I found out that I was pregnant.

Even though I was happy, I couldn't bring myself to celebrate as much as I should have because of everything that was going on.

I don't want to stress or cry too much because of the baby, and for some odd reason, I feel like I'm betraying my best friend because I can't express the amount of hurt I'm feeling without hurting my baby.

"Babes, snap out of it..." I turned to Gio and glared at him. "Wah yuh mean by snap out of it, Giovanni. If it was Tedo or Ratty in this situation, you'd be acting the same or worse."

He averted his gaze and rubbed the bridge of his nose before sighing. I couldn't decipher whether it was a sigh of agreement or frustration.