Burning Desire [R-18]

C H A P T E R - T W E L V E

I was looking directly at her, hindi siya umiiwas o ano paman, seryuso lang siyang nakatitig sakin.

Isang beses lang nangyari samin yun, ni hindi nga natuloy sa kwarto niya dahil bigla nalang siyang nahimatay. Yes, we made out in the hallway of the hotel, but that's it. It was a mistake, and I keep reminding myself of that. I will not go through that kind of guilt again, jeopardizing my family because I was foolish enough to make out with a young lady I had just met. My old self kick in that time and it was reckless, and I'm paying for it now.

I start swirling the pen in my hand. Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya at binaling ang atensyon sa notebook. "I... I did not understand". I uttered.  Bumaling ako ng tingin sa kanya at nakakunot lang ng noo ito.

"You're a therapist you should understand these things" nakakunot nitong sambit.

Tama nga naman siya ako ako dapat ang mas nakakaintindi.

"No, I.... I mean is I don't understand why you just said that." Naguguluhan kong tugon.

"You said we can talk and now we're talking" she bluntly said.
Tumango lang ako habang nalilito itong nakatingin sakin, nag-aantay na iaddress ko ang mga bagay na sinabi niya sakin.

I need to address things para mahinto itong ganitong napaka unprofessional na nangyayari samin.

Ayoko mang aminin pero, sa kaloob-looban ko naapektuhan ako sa nangyayari at ayokong magpatuloy na ganito lagi ang nangyayari.

I take a deep breath, knowing the conversation we're about to have is both necessary and delicate. "I need you to understand that it's not simple," I begin, my voice calm but firm. "You're my client now, and even so, it will not happen. I have records on, and crossing the lines with my patient is like voluntarily throwing myself into jail. It's a crime Arya, and it will be impossible."

Tumaas ang kaliwang kilay nito ng nakatinging sakin."That's all? Then I can request another therapist for you not to handle me." She confidently said.

"Arya, you need to realize that this is not about you and me. It's about the ethical and professional responsibilities I have as your therapist. Crossing that line is not only wrong but dangerous for both of us."

I soften my tone slightly, hoping to reach her on a more empathetic level. "I need you to understand that it's not simple for me either. Your admiration, while flattering, must be redirected. It needs to serve as your guidance to look forward and think positively. Our work together can only be effective if we maintain clear, professional boundaries." I stopped. I leaned my back in the chair and focusing into my words.

Tumikhan muna ako bago ulit nagsalita.

"Arya," I say gently, "we can't work this out if you keep insisting on your desire. Therapy is a space where you should feel safe and respected, and that means respecting the boundaries that keep it professional. Your feelings, while valid, need to be channeled into the therapeutic process in a way that helps you heal and grow."

Mahabang lintaya ko na ipinaliwanag sa kanya ang kung ano man ang gusto niyang mangyari ay hindi pwede, hindi talaga pwede..

I watched Arya’s hands clasped tightly in her lap as her anger boiled over. "You know this is bullshit!" she yelled, standing up so quickly her chair skidded back, nearly tipping over. Her eyes were wild, her face flushed with the intensity of her emotions.

I was shocked to her sudden change of mood.

"Arya, I understand you're frustrated. Please, sit down and let's talk about what's upsetting you," I said, keeping my voice calm and steady.

"Talk? What's the point of talking? This whole therapy thing is bullshit! You sit there pretending to listen, but you don’t really care. You don't understand, you really don't understand!" Her voice cracked, the pain and desperation clear.