one last summer (n.h)

[6] - exception to the rule

11:06 p.m.
nialler: are you awake?
savs: yeah
nialler: can we talk
savs: yeah, where?
nialler: beach I'm there rn

I quietly left the cabin and took a deep breath before starting towards the lake. I could feel my palms start sweating, so I had to keep brushing them against my sweatshirt. Why was I so nervous? Stop being nervous!

I saw Niall sitting alone on the beach. His knees were to his chest staring out on the water. I sat next to him silently. We sat next to each other in complete and utter silence for a few minutes. It was comfortable, but I kept thinking I should say something.

"I miss home," Niall told me.

"You sound like a little kid," I chuckled softly.

"Hey, it's a valid feeling," he replied pushing me, "and you're the closest thing that I have to a sibling here, so I wanted to talk to you about it."

My stomach dropped. He saw me as a sibling. Through the weeks while my feelings developed, his had evaporated. How could I be with someone who considered me his sibling? I felt like I was going to be sick.

"My brother was always nervous about everything. He had the worst anxiety and he always has. I always thought it was my duty to take care of him you know?" He asked. I just nodded as I shooed bugs away from the two of us.

"The other day really reminded me of him and I just... I've never been apart from him for this long. I don't know how to act," he admitted.

"I get that," I told him, "I miss home too. The only reason I don't seem like it is because I'm so used to being away for the entire summer." He nodded not wanting to say anything.

"The first time I was a counselor it took me two and a half weeks before I called my mom sobbing because I missed her. There's nothing wrong with how you're feeling. I promise you that everyone feels the same way."

"You guys just all have ways of coping with it. You've made me feel like one of you, but there's so many things that I still have to learn and it makes me feel so stupid."

"I get it, Nialler," I told him, "I hope you find comfort in camp or me or anyone. I hope there's someone who can comfort you the way you comfort your brother."

"Trust me, you do," he told me. He couldn't even look at me.

"Good, because you do that for me too," I smiled.

His head was in his arms as I laid my hand on his back. He flinched, so I took my hand away instantaneously.

"No," I heard him mumble, "it's okay. I like it."

I replaced my hand on his back rubbing back and forth. He soothed into me a little bit before I heard him sniffle.

"It's okay," I whispered, "let it out."

He leaned into me still not wanting to look me in the eyes. My arm was around him and my other hand was in his hair. We stayed like that for a few minutes. We were quiet, but completely close. I started feeling myself become intertwined with him. Like we were one being.

"Thank you," I heard him say, "for not laughing or anything. You have no clue how badly I needed this."

"I would never laugh at you," I told him, "I know give you a hard time, but in reality, I really, really like you, Niall."

I was unsure of how that came across. I didn't even think before speaking. He lifted his head from his arms and smiled at me.

"I can't believe you just admitted that," he chuckled.

"Admitted what?" I asked taking my arms off of him.

"You like me," he said poking me before wiping his face.