Serendipity

Tacenda

Tacenda; things better left unsaid; matters to be passed over in silence.

Aunty G and I fell into a really nice rhythm. She was a teacher at the local college teaching Business Management. She'd let me stay at home during the days she went in for lectures and tutoring. I had a new found freedom that I had never had in my entire life. She invited me on her morning 7km run around the block in the mornings then she would make us smoothies and leave for the day. I filled my days with napping when until the jet lag finally wore off. I played a lot of piano and had gotten back into playing my mums guitar out in the backyard. Aunty G had a pool and a patio out the back in a fairly busy neighbourhood. I hear many other teenagers coming and going with their friends. I heard people singing happy birthday next door last Friday there was definitely some sort of celebration. But I didn't like leaving the house without Aunty G so I've stayed mostly inside the house but. It's been nice and sunny; I've spent a lot of time on the back patio playing guitar. I have always played to feel closer to my mother. I don't write my own songs or anything like that I just enjoy the way I can turn my brain off when I'm playing an instrument and singing. Being summer in Texas the 40 degrees' Celsius days were helping me to get a little colour back into my pale complexion after my months I had hidden away in my bedroom. The warmth from the sun was a welcome friend to my cold heart. I liked swimming and tanning out in the backyard. I still had no appetite for the fear that when I let my mind wonder the memories often ended in my spilling my guts up on the floor. Aunty G never pushed for me to eat. She had lots of smoothies which were easy enough for me to say I would drink in my bedroom then tip down the toilet. She was never home for lunch so I didn't have to hide skipping that meal. Then by dinner she didn't have a huge appetite not wanting to feel sluggish before bed, which gave me the idea that I would just say I had a huge lunch and that I only ever wanted a light dinner so most nights we shared cold deli meats and salad which I usually pushed around the plate ate a spoonful or two. I always washed the dishes so I was able scrape the plates so as Aunty G wouldn't notice how much I hadn't actually eaten. I don't want her worrying about me. She's been so kind. The summer has been super relaxing being alone to read, play my instruments and swim. Not having anybody else's company. I am feeling anxious to see people I only ventured from the house to go grocery shopping with Aunty G. During those times I waited out the front of the grocery store reading a book with my headphones in whilst she did the shopping. She told me she'd take me to do my learners test because you can drive with a learners permit at 16 in the states. Aunty G said I could use her old car from her Uni days that was in her garage, because she has a company car now. Maybe the old me would've jumped at the opportunity to have a car and be able to transport myself to school. But I really don't want to be sitting in the car alone before and after school. Finding my way all on my own.

Aunty G was taking me shopping at her local shopping complex because she said "you can't wear bikinis to school every day". I wanted to argue in this heat that everyone should be allowed to wear a bikini, it was so bloody hot. But I understood where she was coming from. I had left every single sundress and skirt at home I couldn't bring myself to ever wear one again knowing how easily the men were able to access Vivien that night. I've stuck to basically wearing my bikinis around the house with a few shirts I stole from the boys before I came over that I was wearing as dresses in Aunty G's home. When we leave the house I wear jeans which have been far too hot and the few singlets tops that I already owned. Aunty G said she didn't think my wardrobe had anything appropriate to wear to school. So here we are standing inside a shop that is resembling a mix between Supre and cotton on back home. Aunty G has a really beautiful business casual attire for work. She seems to be in her element here. She has picked out shorts, shirts and shoes all the essentials. I let her. I really don't care what she picks out and it seems to be pleasing her to do this. I think maybe she's always wanted a daughter and I hope she finds a man who she can marry and start a family with because she'll be a great mum one day. Once we get home I strip off my jeans and done my trusty pink bikini I've been living in this past summer Aunty G has jumped into the shower quickly then she's going to join me out the back for sunbathing whilst she finishes up some class preparation and I read. She also likes it when I play guitar for her whilst she's working. Just as I reach the bottom of the landing of the stairs the doorbell rings. My first though is it's my new books I ordered on amazon so I rush to open the front door. When I swing the door open I'm met with what I had to assume was a man's chest, my blood froze. He was so tall I tilt my neck up in an attempt to find the end of this torso. Eventually I'm met with a jaw that could slice diamond and a giant smile with the brightest white teeth I've ever seen. His hair is blonde a little darker than my own more of a mousey brown now that I'm looking at it. He has brown eyes that are looking into my blue ones and when I look down a little past his nose I see his mouth is moving. I look down a little further to see his hand is reaching out towards me. I jump back and slam the door in his face.
Oh shit.