Waiting outside the lines

Chapter 16

I walk out of the room and go straight to my closet so I can hide my face and because I need to see if I have anything for Wayne to change into. I feel tears start creeping up my throat.
Did I really want to kiss him? Or was I just "caught up in the moment"? This is all getting way too dramatic. I don't think any of this would get easier if I fell for him. It would make things harder actually.
I learned that from my uncle..
Wayne walks out of the bathroom but I don't look at him. I see out of the corner of my eye that he is looking at me though. I pretend to look through my stuff for something, even though I know there's nothing in my closet he can wear. "Um.. What are you doing?" He asks me. Without looking at him I say,"I'm looking for something for you to change into. Unless you want to go in pajamas. Or you can go in your bloody clothes if you want." I say it kinda harsh and feel bad. "Well okay then." He says raising his arms as if he was giving up. He sits on the bed and doesn't say anything.
I go to a drawer by my closet and look through it. This is where I found the pajamas so maybe I'll find something else for him to wear. Usually I would know where everything in my room is but right now I'm a little out of it so I don't really know anything.
I finally find a few things that Wayne could use, all being my uncles old clothes. I take out a dress shirt, an old t-shirt that said 'Coca Cola', a black shirt, some jeans, dress pants, and some sweat pants. I lay them all out on the floor and tell Wayne to choose. He looks at the clothes surprised probably wondering why I have all this guy clothes. "I know it's kind of a lot but I wanted you to have options." I say still not looking at him. He laughs a little and says,"Well thanks. Uum I don't think the dress clothes would work. I mean we're just going for ice cream right? Um the sweats and Coke shirt seem like pajamas so nah. Then the black shirt and jeans it is." I nod my head grabbing the other clothes he's not gonna use and start putting them away. "Well I guess I'll change in the bathroom then." He says awkwardly.
"I guess so." I say still not look at him. I hear Wayne breath as if he's about to say something but I guess he changes his mind because he sighs and goes in to change.
I try to calm down a little as I clean up my room a bit. I take slow deep breaths and try to get Wayne out of my mind. Which I knew was gonna be pretty hard considering he was in my bathroom changing right now. I feel a little better until I hear Wayne come out. I finally look at him and he turns in a circle as if showing me the whole 'outfit'. "Suits me pretty well" he says jokingly.
My eyes get wide when I see him. The shirt was perfect for him. You could see how fit he was and it also made the muscles on his arms noticeable. I look away realizing I'm staring at him. "Looks nice." I try to say as if it was nothing. He starts walking towards me. "You look nice too."
"Thanks." I respond still not looking at him. It's awkward and silent before Wayne breaks the silence and says,"Look , I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable at all. I mean, you opened your house to me and I've done nothing but make you feel uncomfortable.."
"What? No you haven't. You are the sweetest thing ever. You haven't made me feel uncomfortable at all."
"Well like... when I would try to kiss you.. but don't worry I get it. I'll stop. I just.. think you're amazing. I can't help myself I guess."
"I-I" I don't know what to say.
"I'm sorry. I'm doing it again. Look I just.." Then a knock at my door interrupts Wayne.
"Let's go Sissy! It's getting laaaate!"
I look at Wayne and whisper to him."Go through the window."
"What? We're on the second floor!" He whisper-yells.
"There's something you can climb down. Do you think you can do it? If not I can just distract my brother while you go out."
He thinks for a second. "Nah it's fine. I'll meet you at the door. Just give me like five minutes." He starts out the window and I tell him to be careful. He nods and I open the door to go out, making sure I only open the door wide enough for me to slip out. "Ok I'm finally ready." I say smiling at my little brother. He smiles his widest smile and grabs my hand. "Let's goo!" I stop him remembering that Wayne told me to give him five minutes. "Oh wait. Do you have everything little bro?"
"Yea!" He says trying to pull me down the stairs. "Really? Your backpack? Your lunch? Your homework?"
"Yes! Yes! And yes!" He says still walking.
"How about your jacket?" He stops for a second, thinking. "I'll be right back. He runs up the stairs and I laugh a little.
I walk to the door and hear people outside. I look out the window by my door and see Rose and Wayne arguing pretty loudly.
"Where were you all night?" I hear Rose yell.
I stay inside so they can't see me but I can still hear them.
"Why do you care? You practically threw me out the other day!"
What? Wayne never told me anything about that.
"Yes because Jake told me you hurt Janet and blamed it on him."
My hate for Jake grows more. (If its even possible to hate him more then I already do)
"Do you not hear yourself? 'Jake told me.' That is what you just said! Do you maybe think Jake is, oh I don't know, lying to you!?"
Rose doesn't say anything for a second which is good timing because I hear my brother coming down the stairs. So he doesn't have to hear them arguing, I ask him to go get my jacket. Then I listen again.
"That's not what we are talking about right now! We are talking about where you were last night. Jake was where he was supposed to be last night. In the house!" Rose yells.
I laugh a little (not in a happy way) and say to myself,
"Yea right. I wish."
She continues,"And where were you? I don't know! And I was worried sick because of that!"
Wayne chuckles,"You? Worried about me? That's a good one mom! I really doubt that!"
"Oh really? Now why do you 'really doubt that'?" I could hear the mockery in her voice.
"Because you were probably so worried about Jake that you didn't even think about me! But it's okay mom. I'm used to that since you think Jake is such a perfect little angel."
"Well at least Jake is doing something with his life! Unlike someone here who sits around feeling sorry for himself all the time and is just jealous if his older brother!"
I try my hardest not to open the door and tell Rose off. She knows nothing about Jake OR Wayne and doesn't have the right to say those things. Being their mom or not.
"Jealous? Really? And why is that?"
"I know one big reason is because 'someone' likes him better then you!" Were they talking about me? No they couldn't be. But then I hear Wayne say firmly and obviously full of rage,"Do not bring Janet into this!" He tried to say it quietly but he didn't say it quietly enough.
"But I'm right aren't I?"
I use all my will power to not go outside and slap her.
"What? Did Jake tell you that? Well you're wrong because she hates him! But what am I doing trying to make you believe me? You don't listen to me cause he has you wrapped around his little finger?!"
"You do not speak to me like that!"
There's silence for a few seconds before I hear Rose say,"If only you were more like Jake. Things would be so much easier."
At that statement I break. I open the door full of rage and stomp over to where Rose is. "If he was anything like the real Jake..," I say emphasizing the word 'real', "which you obviously know nothing about, then I would probably be dead right now!"
Both Wayne and Rose look at me confused. "Janet, what are you ta-"
But I interrupt Rose saying,"Wayne was with me all night because he was hurt and-"
"You were hurt? Why didn't you-"
"Because you wouldn't believe him if he told you who hurt him!!" I yell interrupting her again. I go on,"You know nothing about Jake!" I hesitate. "Or what he did.." I get the confused looks again from them both. "What? What has he done Janet?" Rose asks. I look at Wayne and he mouths,'What are you talking about?'
Should I tell them? Rose would have to believe me. I mean why would I lie about something like that?
I'm about to tell them but then I hear the door of my house close. I turn around and see my brother standing there with all his stuff and a big smile on his face. I turn back around. "Never mind. Forget it." I say responding to both questions. "The point is you should really talk to Jake." Then I grab Wayne's hand and start walking away with my brother skipping in front of us on the way to get ice cream.
When we're farther away from our houses, I let go of Wayne's hand. While we walk, my brother skips happily in front of us. While Wayne, every once in a while, looks at me expectantly. Like he's waiting for me to tell him what I was talking about back at the house.
The ice cream place isn't far from our houses but when the walk is awkward and silent the whole time, it can be a pretty long walk.
When we're about a minute or so from the ice cream place Wayne loses his patience and stops. I stop too and ask,"What?" My brother also stops and says,"Why are you stoppiiinggg? The ice cream's right there!" And points at the ice cream shop. But Wayne ignores him. "You know 'what'. What were you talking about?" I look at my little bro who was looking at us confused.
It was pretty obvious I didn't want my brother to hear anything. Did Wayne seriously not get the hint?
I grab Wayne's arm and say to him quietly,"We'll talk about this later." Then I push his arm (because ya know.. I'm mad) and keep walking. My brother and Wayne follow and we go inside the ice cream place. We all order something and sit down. I smile as I see my brother sit there happily eating his ice cream. As I see him eat, I think of what a great little brother he is and how lucky I am to have him. But then Wayne interrupts my thoughts by saying,"So now that we're sitting down and relaxed, why don't you tell me?" I glare at Wayne as my little brother asks,"Tell him what??"
"It's nothing little bro. Wayne just wants to know... more about this place. You know, cause this is his first time here."
"Oh ok." My brother says with a smile, then goes on eating.
I don't say anything more and go back to my ice cream. Until Wayne says,"Soo?"
"What?" I ask playing dumb.
"Ugh are we really gonna start this again?"
I sigh,"Fine.. Ok so this place was found in 1988 by this guy named-"
"Never mind!" Wayne says annoyed. I laugh and look at my brother. There's an awkward silence so I say, "You know we're not gonna do this all the time. This was just a one time thing." My brother takes a breath from stuffing his face with ice cream. "I know." He says, his face covered in ice cream. I laugh at his chocolaty face and get up to get a napkin from the person at the register. When I have the napkins, I turn around and see a police officer at the table, talking to my little brother.