Bits of Life

VIII. Enjoy Life Rather Than Fearing Death

Only within a year's quarter, I lost two of my most cherished friends. One, Sanny, taught me to enjoy life as much as we can providing we do not trample on others. The other, Franco, taught me gratitude amid life's most difficult challenges.

Sanny was the exuberant one. His personality was sparkling. He would share his difficulties in life and how being content resolves almost everything. He came from a humble family in the province. He would tell me how far he and his sister would walk from home to school and back and still manages to mention to his parents and other siblings the joy of their journey. One time, he told me how he and his sister have to make a small bottle of anchovies for a week or two when they were boarding a house during college - and how happy they are whenever they can spare some amount from their school allowance and buy a pack of instant noodles. That's a meal with broth, at least.

When Sanny had the opportunity to work in another city, he brought with him nothing but his lovely personality and kind character. The first time we met, he mentioned that he has nothing to offer but a bubbly spirit - and I knew from then I found another best friend. Some years ago, I had to live in another province across the sea to fulfill my duties as a professor and would come home on Fridays after school hours. Then I would catch up with Sanny over dinner in our favorite barbeque place. He'd treat me to dinner this weekend, and I'd treat him to dinner the next. It has been our weekly mini reunion and every time we would know more about our lives which strengthens our friendship. We'd confide in each other how the week went, how we managed stress, who our newly made friends are, and what plans we have over the next seven days until we get together for dinner again. Nothing strengthens friendships than a discourse over simple but delicious meal.

Sanny and I had the chance to share travels in rather lush ways, not because we live a life of luxury, but because we want to live an enjoyable life while young. Our travels would have to be planned for months. Our budget would have to be saved up for months as well. That is where being content becomes more meaningful - when you know you spend for something you actually saved up for - sacrificed for.

Whenever my family hosts a family event, big or small, I would bring Sanny home to partake in our banquet. He has spent Christmases and birthdays and Christenings with us. He has become part of the family. His closest was my dad. When Papa was severely ill and was confined for more than a month in a city hospital, Sanny would always dedicate some hours after work to be my assistant caretaker for dad. We might be two tired young workers during the day but Sanny would always make sure we have a good laugh in the hospital ward before retiring for the night. Sanny, though without a blood-family with him in a new city, made many friends whose families were eager to welcome him. His genuine personality, humble character, and kind spirit ensured he had a family wherever he went.

Illness took Sanny too early, leaving a lot of people with a heavy heart for his passing, but he also makes us smile every time we remember him, because we never had anything unpleasant to think of about how he treated us, his friends, or how he lived his life. I could say no less for Franco's personality - always joyous, always grateful. We had the chance to know each other before both of us met and knew Sanny. Franco is a soft-spoken man, more so, he has a character untarnished by any means even of an unpleasant thought. I would be feeling down and not tell anyone, but Franco would know my silence and come to provide solace and cheer. He would come in the middle of the night to bring me medical aid whenever I feel sick. Most especially, Franco would come even in the wee hours just to invite me for a meal whenever he thinks I needed somebody to ease my gloominess. Our friendship, though, was not only limited to being with each other in times of need or mere company on melancholic days. Franco would come and visit me at home just for a cup of coffee or a breath of fresh air away from the bustling city. Although it is only optimism and cheerfulness we mostly talk about, Franco and I are not away from discussing the realities of life and its low points.

We would talk over our troubles and worries but would always make it a point to come to a determined resolution. Franco is an easy ally to talk about the simplicities of life and the most basic means to sort complex things out. He never ran out of sunshine amidst storms. A silver lining during dark clouds.

Franco's source of bright personality is not questionable as I had the privilege to meet his family. Sanny and I had the chance to celebrate birthdays and Christmas with Franco's family. Franco's mom and brothers were as pleasing as he is.

Only a couple of days before this writing, illness took Franco, too. That's me losing two of my best friends in three months. It is always difficult for the ones left behind. I mourn their loss, but I celebrate their lives. Yes, they might have episodes fearing their death, but they have lived their lives always beaming. Their presence was always a ray of sunshine and their loss did not dim the light they shared. Death is inevitable. Science might have found ways to delay it, but no one is an exception once it calls. If we see death as an enemy, then we are all losers. Sanny's and Franco's lives taught me that there is meaning to enjoying life's blessings, big and small. Rather than fearing death, being more grateful and optimistic can help teach us to live more fully in the here and now.