Bits of Life

XII. The Colors of Love

Rainbow flags hoisted everywhere. Establishments setting up decorations in the lavish colors of the rainbow. Colorful social media posts about parades and support. Within June 1 to 30, search for "Pride Month'' in Google, and you'll be surprised with confetti pouring down with a digital parade of PFLAGS. Ah! It's PRIDE month. A commemoration and in honor of the 1969 Stonewall uprising in the US. The celebration is a memorial for those members of the community who have been lost to hate crimes, and also, to recognize the impact that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals have had on history locally, nationally, and internationally.

This article is not to press to change preference on those who would rather call themselves conservative, but a call to those who live in hate because of false and illogical beliefs. Let me start with sharing what I remember about the film I saw a few years ago entitled "Prayers For Bobby", (from a book of the same title).

Prayers for Bobby is a true story about a mother, Mary Griffith had a son Bobby who came out as gay. Being too religious, Griffith did not tolerate her son's identity and so she prayed for his "conversion" as if he was some sort of a hiding criminal. She dug deep into her bible quoting verses and posting notes for her son to read and meditate upon with fervent hopes to "cleanse" him as if he was a living sin. Bobby committed suicide due to his mother's religious intolerance.

At first, I believed the film was about Bobby - his fears, doubts, and lack of support. However, it dawned to me that this is actually about Mary Griffith and the many more Mary Griffiths out there - imposing what is taught and written thousands of years ago and unaccepting of the realities of the world. In this writing, I am not playing the card of another bible verse asking "you who have no sin to cast the first stone". I am not arguing what religious teachings whatever church has against homosexuality, I am instead arguing where your hate and judgments all come from.

One time, I was asked why male infants wear blue and female infants wear pink. After so much thinking, I and my questioner agreed that it is because it is what we want our children to wear. But, if children only have the choice, I don't think it would matter to them whatever color they cloth themselves. So the real question may be, if older women can wear any shade of blue clothing, why can't men wear pink? Why are we caged in rules that society imposes when defying these rules do not even harm our neighbors?

This is not a lecture about morality, because if it is, we will need to sit down in discussion more than just writing an article about it. This is a writing about love - where it roots from and what wonderful things it promises to yield. Do we really have to base a natural feeling from what is written in books? - religious or scientific? Some truths written in books previously are even challenged and proven not truthful anymore, and we accept it. Only a few decades ago we were made to believe that Pluto was a planet, thanks to science we have a new understanding that it is not - but how does it really matter in our lives? How are our personal daily lives affected by this truth? Fact is, it actually doesn't. How about love and who to love? There are already a lot of writings challenging the "truth" about love reserved only for the opposite sex. But unlike Pluto's truth, why are we not accepting it? Like Pluto, being a planet or not, how are our personal daily lives affected by the truth that there are people who love regardless of sex?

Can we just stick to the general understanding that love is a feeling and to whomever we share it with, it is a rather wonderful one? We love our parents and children regardless of their sex. We love our God - regardless of religion - and God doesn't even have sex. So why is it wrong to love our neighbor, regardless of what genitals he or she is born with?

We were taught - from religious books and more - that we should only share this feeling towards someone of the opposite sex. There are new and modern understandings about to whom we fall in love with, same or opposite sex - written or not - but why are there still people who cannot welcome this reality? Do people who love irregardless of sex and how they live their lives really affect yours negatively, that you need to oppose it? Not supporting one's preference doesn't mean you go out there and combat it and spread hate. There is rather a simple way to do it - Letting Them Be.

Mary Griffith lost her son Bobby to suicide because of her religious intolerance. She died as a longstanding LGBT rights activist. Do we have to see more lives taken on their own or by haters because of illogical loathing and despise before we come to realize that if we can't be an ally, at least we can also not be a source of hate?

Straight or not, we fall in love. And when that strong and wonderful feeling comes, it no longer sees the physical. Love is blind - not in the negative way. Love is blind because it does not look into the physical aspects of the person. Love does not see into wealth, educational attainment, or societal status. True love is attracted to character, personality and values. There are a lot in society that are unnatural, but the feeling between two persons - regardless of their sex - is the most natural thing in this world.

True love is not what society demands it to be because it can never be true love without first embracing one's true self.

HAPPY PRIDE!