No room in this hell | Frerard | Limited Story

Cubicles

Franks POV

I ran through the streets all night trying to find him.

Searching every place I could think of until I was met with his house. I stood at the gate, out of breath and shivering. I stare up at the front door for what seemed like hours. The rain seemed to weigh me to the spot. I couldn't bring myself to knock, to see his face. The expression he left me with burning in my memory. The lump in my throat holding down all the words I want to say to him. I kick the chain link fence in defeat. He doesn't want me. He will never want me.

I saunter home, the rain beating down like nails on my skin, masking my tears.

I couldn't sleep, I paced back and forth for hours, glancing at the Gerard shaped dip in my sheets. The blood splatters on my pillow and the now melted ice pack seeping blood through to the mattress. I couldn't shake him from my head. The handprint bruises on his throat, the sweat beading along his jaw, all that blood. I don't know what happened to him but I feel like a fucking fool for letting him go out there by himself.

Days passed with no word, until I dragged myself to  practice at Joes. I surge through, terrified to face him, my stomach aches and growls. I need to know he's alive, even if he cant talk to me or even gaze in my direction, I have to know he's not still cruising after all of that.

"Have you seen him?" I said dumping my guitar case down in front of his feet.
"Seen who, Frank?" Ray asks, his eyebrow cocked "Gerard? Is he here?!" I interrogate.

"Not today...why? does he owe you money or something?" Ray chuckled, leaning back slightly.
"It doesn't matter" I mutter, drawing back, looking over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of Mikey, he pays for the drinks and makes his way through the crowd, eventually setting the drinks down, giving me a small nod "Mikey? Where's your brother?" I implore, looking up to see him suddenly peering down at me. "He hasn't left his room in days, he barricaded the door and wouldn't let me in so I got tired and came here" he sighed in defeat, sliding us each a bottle and slumping down in the chair opposite. "What are we doing here? Let's go and get him" I plead, frantically looking at them both. "He does this all the time Frank. He'll come out when he's ready" he chuffs, using the lip of his beer to push his glasses up.

"I think it might be different this time, I found him the other night and he wasn't... he didn't.. he was.. was in real bad shape" I fumble. "What happened Frank?!" Mikey jolted, his posture corrected completely. you could hear a pin drop as the smirk fell from his face.

This once meek fanatic suddenly became this deer in headlights. He shifted, sending a shiver down my spine. His eyes were wide, a trigger finger on his guitar case. His chest hollowing as he spoke "what the fuck Frank?!"

My heart sinks. I should've gone up to the door the other night, I should have pounded until somebody let me in. I would rather him yell at me and turn me away, at least then I'd know he's alive.  "I'll tell you on the drive" I grab my bag, tears falling as I rise from my seat. I down the beer in front of me and push past the crowd. He could be dead in there for all we know.

Ray sped through red lights, anxiously chewing on his bottom lip. I sensed the urgency shaking Ray apart, the desperation to get to Mikey's place as fast as he could. "It looked like he was cruising" I said leaning forward to talk to Mikey in the front. "He was covered in blood so I took him home and he..." I couldn't bring myself to tell Mikey what transpired in my room. "I tried to patch him up and he just left, he ran out into the street and I lost him"

Mikey listened closely, not saying a word before he sucked his teeth, tapping his index on his knee. He starts to fidget "What happened to him?" He hissed, turning around to face me, his eyes wide and his breathing rising. "I found someone beating on him in an alley but he made me swear not to call you..." I started to shift in my seat. "I really wanted to call you man... but he.. wouldn't let me, so I took him back to my house and then he... he just disappeared"