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"That's why you found me at the bridge that night."
Chan was silent, utterly speechless.
The hospital room seemed to shrink around him, amplifying the sound of his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. He felt paralyzed, caught in a mental limbo where his thoughts were both racing and completely stalled. Torn between an onslaught of emotions and a numbness that threatened to consume him, he didn't know how to respond.
As tears welled up in his eyes, he blinked, feeling the dampness against his lashes. A dull ache gnawed at his chest, each heartbeat painful. I didn't just find him... I saved him from killing himself, he realized. The mere thought of what Jeongin must have endured over those eight days turned his stomach, filling him with sickness and outrage.
"I had no one... nothing," the younger's voice quivered as his words reached the older's ears. With shoulders slumped and back turned, he seemed to shrink under the weight of his own words. "I thought... that was my only option."
The mafia leader felt a heavy blow to his chest, as if a boulder had been dropped on him. He swallowed hard, choking back the tears threatening to spill. Parting his lips to speak, he found himself speechless, as if his voice had abandoned him.
"Hyung?" Jeongin's voice quivered as he glanced over his shoulder, his heart twisting at the sight of the older man's downcast expression, tears glistening in his eyes.
He quickly turned around to face him and gently cupped his face with both hands, his thumbs softly stroking the older man's cheeks as he lifted his face upwards. "Was that too much... I shouldn't have told you—"
Chan shook his head, sniffling as he struggled to hold back the tears. "You should have told me," he replied, his voice wavering slightly as he gently held the younger man's wrist, anchoring himself to the present moment. "I needed to know this... to understand."
The younger nodded, his eyes softening. "Alright," he answered. "I just... don't know how to move on from this..." He continued, his words faltering slightly. "I tried working in the café again, to keep myself busy enough that I don't have time to dwell on the past... but it always comes back to me, haunting me."
Closing his eyes, the older released a deep sigh through parted lips. A surge of anger and protectiveness welled up within him, knitting his brows together. "Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?" he asked, his voice tinged with frustration and regret. "I could've... done something to prevent it from happening again."
Lowering his gaze and looking away, the younger felt a pang in his chest at the older's tone. "I thought I could handle it all alone... like I always do," he replied softly.
"Petal," the older said, opening his eyes with a sharp gaze, "I thought you trusted me?" His voice carried a hint of hurt and disappointment.
"I trust you!" Jeongin exclaimed, his voice rising slightly in urgency, his heart pounding at the accusation. "I do, hyung, I really do," he insisted, his eyes pleading for understanding. "It's just... I don't trust myself to handle it."
