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CHANGES- 17

MEGAN POV (THREE MONTHS LATER)

I'm four months pregnant. I look in the mirror at my belly smiling now that I'll find out next month the gender. Hoping for a girl, a little mini me; who I will love better than my own mom did to me.

I look down at my phone looking at a text Maxwell sent me, making me roll my eyes. He think he can randomly text me expecting to get some sex since I'm carrying his child. Hell no.

I beat myself up all the time about messing up what Pac and I had; but I do not regret my child not one bit. I'm gonna give this child all the love they deserve and need...like I didn't get

FIVE YEARS LATER

"Mommy...Mommy.." I hear making me groan and stretch

I look down at my five year old daughter, Golden as she smiles at me.

"Yes Pooh? Good morning"
"Good morning Mommy! It's time to get up; we go see Auntie today"

"Yes baby...but can I have five more minutes then we'll go"
"No Mommy we gotta go, It's Auntie's birthday"

"Alright Alright... I'm up"

I hold Golden's left hand as she holds flowers in her right hand. Lillies, something different for the year. We always make sure to get different flowers for Aaliyah.

"Auntie!!" Golden says letting go of my hand running to her headstone

I watch as she kneels down in front of the headstone changing the still newly flowers we got her last time we came to visit for the new year. Golden tries to sit down but I tell her not to being that it's freaking 40 degrees out here and it snowed last night.

"Pooh we not gonna stay too long it's too cold out here"
"Please Mommy...it's Auntie's birthday..she can't be alone"

I groan but nod my head sitting in the cold ass snow with her as she rubs her gloved finger over Aaliyah's picture that's on her headstone.

"Mommy....why did Auntie have to go?"
"Cause God needed her more..."
"Just like baby needed her too"

"Yes Pooh. Baby needed her just as much" I take a deep breath, Baby... the child I lost before I got my Golden blessing

"Don't cry Mommy. Like you say Auntie and Baby are looking over us"

"I know Pooh.. sometimes I just can't help but cry and think on things...There's so many people that I miss that aren't here. But I'm grateful for the ones I do have still with me"

"Like ME!!!"

"Definitely you!!" I say pushing her backwards into the snow as she laughs laying down making a snow angel

I lay next to her making my own snow angel. I look over at her as she looks at me smiling. I'm not proud of all the choices I made, but I'm proud of the choice I made of her.

"Girl did you see the news!?!" Set ask as we speak on the phone

"No I didn't Set what happened?"

"Suge going to jail! HA! Murder for hire. So he thought cause he damn sure didn't get away with the murder for hire of Pac and go do it again. Like what the fuck Meg"

"I know girl, he think he above the law. Like he's untouchable"

"Shoot...I need Pac to just come out and be like I'm alive" she says making me laugh