Playlist series: My Ice Cold Lover

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Playlist Ended-

Kim's POV

Its been 10 months after she left, i can't say i finally moved on

Dari held a special space in my heart, non can take that away.

I made it to olympics and study abroad, i never been this successful but i know that my Baby always guide me

I kept her Jersey and framed it so is her favourite hockey stick and her signed biscuit

Her broken Roller blades perfectly placed at the table of my office here where i stay

I love her so much that everything she love including her Cars and motorbikes were given to me

These are things that i love and use until now

I made it to the parking lot

I wear the helmet Dari self designed to give it to me

I hop on her favourite bike and position myself for driving

The breeze hug me and winter at the beach has been my favourite view here in California where i get to witness Dari's favourite season.

I remove my helmet and admire the view of the beach i hop off the bike and notice something falling

I lift my hand

Snow

Its snowing at the beach

"What a wonderful way to say you love me" I smiled looking at the view

Love? Oh i thought all of that are impossible. I thought that love was all in our head. We iust adore people and want to see them for the rest of our life.

I once thought love is about caring and spending time with people who you felt safe with. I thought that love never fades since the person regardless of being imperfect is still with you so the love stays.

They say that first love felt magical. Thinking that love is all about happiness and Feeling like home. Like when you are with that person suddenly the world is a safe place. No matter what Circumstances you are in, as long as you love someone who is beside you then everything is okay.

I once believe i only have to love myself. As i am the most important person in my life. Without me then i wouldn't be able to do everything i love doing right now.

I am selfish. And idiot who only cares what is real and what is true. I am straight to the point. I only care for my friends and myself. I know that in my whole existence i will never find someone who suits for my attitude.

But then, i met her.

And all of those are bullshit.

Everytime my eyes met hers. suddenly everything doesn't exist anymore, what matters is only her and her presence,

every time she speaks... It sound so addictive and I could just lay in my bed repeating the phrases she said in my head.

Or the way she walks... Thousands of butterflies as they called travel in my stomach like it felt good but at the same time it felt like you can shit anytime.

And when she laughs. I felt the same feeling i once felt when i was announced to be the MVP

I was stuck. Stuck between what the fuck is this or this is normal crush.

I believe i have a crush on her.

But then, she started showing her care

How she was not a good cooker and would burned the food she try to cook.

How she will trip even though the road is pretty decent

Or How she will tightly hold my hand because I'm scared of bungee jumping

Even how she still stay after i push her away because i can't accept me

Or how she shouted and show the world how i means to her

And how she kissed me after telling everyone that we are together

And...... I see her as the most beautiful person i have ever seen.

My heart still jumps whenever we touched.

And how my lips automatically smile whenever my eyes caught you.

How my body still want to protect you even if i can't do it

I still see the Dari Amarin. I see the real Dari Amarin.

And when i said the most important person in my life is me... I was wrong. Because i always thought that death is my most feared situation but no.

Facing Tomorrow, waking up every morning and Closing my eyes every night without her is what i fear right now.

And.... Is that Love? 

This is Love. Dari showed how much she love me and i should  too

And Dari is my definition of Love

Although we have short time together, Dari never waste time and express how much she loves me

And that's my standard

Dari is my standard

And even if she's not here anymore, i still believe she's guiding me

She saved my life and that makes my life hers too

Maybe if i was gone Dari will have a hard time coping up that's why losing her is much better than losing me

Afterall, Dari proved that love never leaves.

For my Love, My Dari. I love you so much

Till we see eachother again.

The End