BETWEEN TAKES

II - CUT!

After several days of intensive filming, I could safely say that I had settled in well. I'd got closer to Grant, who had this madness and enthusiasm about him that always put me in a good mood. It felt nice... to be considered and respected again. However, I tried to hide the fact that I wasn't in the best of shape: after the evening when Amy had prevented me from drinking, I'd found it hard to look at her for fear of feeling judged. I didn't know her, and I didn't know if she'd told anyone. What was she supposed to think? He has fame and fortune, and he has fallen into the same pernicious trap as most young actors of his generation: he must be nothing more than a failed actor struggling to get back on his feet after so many years protected and spoiled on a blockbuster. To add to that horrible feeling of losing control once again, my relationship with Jade was gradually crumbling, and I'd been putting off her return to the US for 'lack of time', I'd told her, after a break with her parents and friends in England. The truth was different, of course: a definite lack of energy to put up with her whims and various requests, forcing me into activities I did not wish to take part in, shaking me out of my current apathy. She never really understood how I sometimes needed my rest, to dive into my thoughts, to keep track of the efforts I was doing, no matter how small and insignificant they were for her. No... I did not want to go out, party, go to the beach, or attend a red carpet... what I wanted was to play a little guitare, sing, stay in bed, watch films, walk my dogs or even play golf alone. Working on set, as challenging it has always been for me, was enough to keep me in shape and open to the rest of the world. 

As the days went by, the further I got into it, the harder it became to get Amy Gillepsie out of my head. I wanted to thank her for that evening, but I didn't want to get myself into explaining things to her. On top of that, I couldn't help feeling that something was missing every time I laid eyes on her, as if I'd seen her before, as if she'd already been part of my life long before I met her. It can't be! And yet... that feeling remained. I found it hard to concentrate, to pull myself together, and worse still, to snap out of thoughts that were much deeper than just talking to her. I'd dreamt about this girl more than I should have and adopted a compulsive stammer whenever she was around.... I felt like I was going mad. I'd never had so many confusing feelings for anyone at once, not even for Jade when I first met her on the set of Harry Potter. To make matters worse, Grant had caught me staring open-mouthed at her, frozen in admiration, during her appearances on the set. He regularly nudged me to get me out of my slumber and to get me to refocus.

I went out to get some fresh air in the car park, near the trailers, between two scenes. To take my mind off things, I got out my old skateboard and my guitar and tried to kill time between playing music and skating back and forth past the many trailers in front of the filming studio. Eventually Grant joined me, accompanied by the other Tom in the team, who grabbed my guitar to play a few songs. I nearly fell off my skateboard when I saw some of the set design team coming out of the warehouse, led by Amy, indicating that they needed to take a large metal tray into the next building. When she saw me, she gave me her biggest smile. She came up to me and said:

'I don't think I've seen a skateboard since I was in high school!'

I didn't reply, obsessing over the curve of her neck - which I'd dreamt about so many times - and the way her red hair swayed over her shoulders, as she approached me.

'May I?' she said then, reaching out to take my skateboard.

'You... you know how to ride one?' I stammered.

'I used to know! We had this group of friends who used to do it. I suppose it's... like riding a bike? You never really forget!'

I handed her my skateboard, my mouth open, unable to utter a word. She gained speed and, with a controlled, quick movement, dropped the skateboard from behind and climbed on it, letting herself be carried away by the slight slope that the car park provided. She moved on it with ease to slide, her legs bent and her body positioned like a professional. I was stunned by what I was seeing. This girl was amazing. She brushed past me in a controlled bend, then took off the cap I had on my head and put it backwards on hers to continue on her way. She then came back to me after a few minutes of riding back and forth and stopped abruptly in front of me, making my skateboard jump from the ground to her hand with a kick.