..hyung?

8🌺

Day before debut

Chan's thoughts
One more day. One more day and my members still don't like each other. Minho is still struggling with the timing and flow. What kind of leader am I if my group is still having these kinds of problems.

Im currently talking to one of the staff as they had asked how I'm feeling and how everything's coming along 'probably to report back to jyp' I think. But I smile nonetheless, telling them that everything is going great and that we're all very excited, despite a slight bit of nervousness. They just laugh and tells us everything will be okay.

'easy for you to say. Not like your while career could end tomorrow even though it's barely even started.'

I smile back at them, keeping up my usual happy appearance. They can't know I'm panicking like hell or else they'll realize everythings not fine. Everything is on the line and it's not looking good. Everything will be okay my ass.

Minho's POV
Just one more day. Everyone is frustrated and scared and nervous. It's extremely clear. But Chan..I don't detect anything. He doesn't show his feelings towards us. Probably not to worry anyone more by showing how nervous he is. Which is understandable,I mean,as the leader it's important to maintain a certain image infront of your members. But for some odd reason I find myself wanting to know the real Bang Chan. The one behind this mask he puts on infront of us. I want to see how he's really feeling about all this. Excitement? Nervousness? A sense of regret thinking that it might not work out? Just what is going on in his head right now. It's not like his face is totally blank but there's clearly some thoughts hidden behind that smile and I'm gonna find out.

After the staff walks away I immediately walk up to him before he could leave as well. As I suddenly pop up he's clearly taken aback as he most likely didn't expect that. "Oh! Minho,hi! How are you feeling?" He asks with his usual smile. "Good. Now,how are you feeling about all of this?" I ask,a sound of curiosity lacing my voice. "Hm? I'm great,pretty excited about tomorrow. Can't believe the day's basically already here" he says. Of course that's his response. I expected nothing else. Only one way to find out his true thoughts. Even if I have to piss him off a bit.

"Really? Because from what I heard you've been a trainee for,what,7 years now? This must be such a big deal for you. I'd expect you'd be the most nervous out of all of us. Especially since we're still not getting along,I mean,aren't you the one always saying teamwork is key? What if we aren't in sync and we mess up. I doubt jyp will-" he cuts me off before I could finish my sentence..

"Enough! Of course I'm nervous- hell I'm fucking terrified! You think I don't realize all of this myself?! It's all I can think about while all you guys do is argue every time you get. So yes I'm nervous and yes you're right. Jyp most likely won't even let us debut care we'll most likely screw up because I failed as a leader. But what do you care? You don't want to be in this group in the first place so if we end up not debuting that's just great for you isn't it?" He rants and when he's done he's breathing heavily and I can see tears forming. I definitely hit a nerve that I probably shouldn't have.

"Chris- I'm..I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way. I only said all that cause I figured that you were probably hiding your nerves but clearly you were hiding a lot more than just that.." he looks away and for some reason I find it hard to look at him while he's like this so I pull him in for a hug before I continue. "We'll do great I promise. And..I do want to debut, believe it or not. I'm sorry if it felt like I didn't or like I didn't put in any effort cause I dont care.." I trail off not knowing what to say. "I don't think that. I know you were trying your best. I'm sorry for snapping" he pulls away and wipes his tears. "I have to go" he says walking off before I can say anything else.

Watching him walk away left me with some sort of uncomfortable feeling in my heart. It might've just been guilt but seeing him that mad and on the verge of tears made me feel really bad. I never used to feel bad if I had hurt someone's feelings but for some reason,for the rest of the day that guilt stayed with me. I kept thinking of how and if I should apologize.

"Maybe he's gotten over it..right? It's not even such a big deal so why am I thinking so much about it" I think as I lie in bed. "I shouldn't be losing sleep over something so unimportant. Especially not when the performance is tomorrow. I need sleep if Im going to be the best on that stage tomorrow."

A/n
My school has officially closed for winter break so I have about 3 weeks to work on this story so hope you guys look forward to it!! I love you all so much mwah😚💓